Mom sparks debate over refusing to talk about her pregnancy with in-laws
A woman has shared her strict rules for communicating with her in-laws about her pregnancy.
Earlier this week, Morgan Elisa Strickell (@morganstrickell) took to TikTok to recount a recent conversation she had with her husband about his parents. “I will not be my husband’s kin keeper,” the text across the video read.
“So, I refuse to be the primary communicator with my husband’s side of the family,” the soon-to-be mother began, noting that she has addressed the topic before and received “a lot of hate” over it and it has now come up again.
Strickell said that she received a phone call from her mother-in-law, who informed her and her husband that she was upset over not hearing any news about her pregnancy. The mother-in-law claimed she was only getting updates through her sister, who was also learning about Strickell’s pregnancy through posts on social media.
“Now this was kind of news to me because I thought my husband had been communicating with his mom and stepdad. I didn’t know he hadn’t been,” Strickell said in the TikTok.
She then recalled how she reminded her husband to inform his mother about their upcoming ultrasound appointment “so her feelings aren’t hurt.”
He replied: “Why don’t you just send it to my mom?”
Strickell then set her boundaries with her husband, letting him know that they each have responsibilities to communicate with their own families. “Number one, I’m not his kin keeper. If he wants to maintain a relationship with the people in his life, and have them know information about our lives, that is 100 per cent on him,” the TikToker said.
“Number two, I think this tends to fall on women’s shoulders because it’s either assumed that they have a larger social battery, or that they have more time - neither of those things are true in our relationship. My husband has a much larger social battery than I do, and he also tends to have more free time, just because I like to take on projects outside of work.”
She continued, listing her final reason: “But third and final, not a single person would look to my husband as it was his responsibility if my mom was left out of the loop.”
“If my mom doesn’t know what’s going on, I’m a bad daughter. If his mom doesn’t know what’s going on, I’m a bad daughter-in-law,” Strickell added.
The future mother noted that she does communicate with her mother-in-law on a regular basis and that they have a good relationship, but doesn’t want to be the only person responsible for giving her information. Instead, she emphasised that there should be good communication coming from both sides.
Since her TikTok video was shared earlier this week, it’s gone on to receive more than one million views, as many people encouraged Strickell to stick by the boundaries she’s set.
“He needs to talk to his own mom. End of story,” one comment read.
Another commenter agreed, writing: “If he thinks it’s not much work for you... it shouldn’t be much work for him.”
Even a fellow mother chimed in, writing in the comments: “I’m on your side and I’m actually the mom of three boys who don’t communicate with me, but it is their responsibility to keep me in the loop not their wives.”
“I am fortunate to have a partner who understands that roles in our relationship are not divided by gender but rather the equitable division of mental load and responsibilities,” Strickell said in a statement to The Independent. “I am able to have frank conversations with him about my feelings and know that they will be respected and heard.”
