This mom sometimes wants to leave her husband -- but here's why she doesn't

Krista Thurrott
<i>Photo via Facebook/Playdates on Fridays by Whitney Fleming</i>
Photo via Facebook/Playdates on Fridays by Whitney Fleming

Chances are if you’ve been in a longterm relationship, you’ve gone to bed angry or found yourself fighting over seemingly silly things — but have you ever actually considered leaving your partner?

One mom admitted in an emotional Facebook post that after more than 20 years and three kids, there have been days she wanted to give up on her marriage. Whitney Fleming is a 44-year-old writer from Chicago who took to her Facebook page to vent alongside a photo of herself and her husband.

“Sometimes I want to give up on this. Sometimes I want to give up on the stability, the memories, the relationship built on 22 years. Sometimes I want to leave the man who gets frustrated too easily or often doesn’t see the world the way I do or still leaves the toilet seat up upon occasion. Sometimes I crave a simpler life, one without conflict or obligation or concessions. Because sometimes marriage is just hard, too hard to see it through to the end,” she wrote.

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Fleming highlights how the woman pictured is much different than the woman who met her husband at 22 years old. She admits to often feeling broken and jaded, putting her compassion at fault for always helping others before herself.

“She puts others’ needs before hers because that is simply what mothers do; although sometimes she resents it. She loves hard and full and fierce; but sometimes she wonders if that is enough. Sometimes I want to give up on this – and I’m not sure what stops me,” posted Fleming.

She credits her three children and a fear of life without her partner for keeping her committed to her family of five. Disclosing she’s watched couples close to her fall apart and re-build individually, Fleming admits she returns to old photos of her husband and herself as a reminder of the life they built together.

“Sometimes, when I want to give up on this, I look, I mean really look, at the pictures of us. I see the multitude of lines that adorn our faces, the result of so much joy and laughter shared between two souls. Each smile reminds me we overcame the pain of miscarriages and infertility and deaths and illnesses that we endured only by grasping each other tightly. The sight of us touching reminds me of how just simply grabbing my hand used to take my breath away, and still does upon occasion. And I look into his eyes, and I see that he is still the most decent man I have ever known,” she wrote.

The post resonated with her followers, and readers have thanked the blogger for her honesty, admitting they’ve felt the same way at one point or another.

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“So beautifully said. I hope you know your raw, honest insight is valued by so many that you may or may not personally know,” commented one reader.

“Wow, I thought I was alone and crazy with those same thoughts. Thank you for sharing, I feel better knowing that other people feel the same sometimes,” added another.

While Fleming admits there are bad days – and days she’s left wondering if it’s all worth it – she reminds herself that there’s always something new to fall in love with when it comes to her husband.

“Sometimes marriage is hard, harder than maybe it should be. Giving up may be logical, easier or sometimes even the right thing to do. Sometimes I want to give up on this, but not today,” she wrote.

“Because although I’m in the season of marriage that is difficult and exhausting and hard, in these pictures and in this life, there is always a new reason to fall in love with this man all over again.”

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