Mom offered to pay people to befriend her son with Down syndrome. The response stunned her
A mother desperate to help her lonely son who has Down syndrome offered to pay people to be his friend — and in the wave of positive responses, she found out that neither she nor her son are alone.
Christian Bowers, 24, of St. Charles, Missouri, was embraced by his high school peers, but he never developed true friendships in adulthood.
"On the weekends, Christian watched his older sisters have sleepovers and attend parties while he sat on his own," Bowers' mom, Donna Herter, tells TODAY.com.
After graduation, Bowers' desire for friendship grew. Over the last six months, Bowers has asked his mom, "When are my friends coming over?"
Herter didn't know what to say.
"Christian is a social bug and when we're in public, he'll invite anyone to join us," she says. "One time, we went for pizza and he invited a table of 15 construction workers to sit with us, which they did."
A few weeks ago, Donna and her husband Allen were sitting in the living room when she got an idea.
"I wondered, what if I pay a local man who is looking for extra money to hang out with Christian twice a month?" she recalls. "I thought it would help both of them out."
After a late-night nursing shift, Donna posted on Facebook, offering $80 for a two-hour shift.
“I’m looking for a young man, between the ages of 20-28, who would like to make some extra money," she wrote in the Feb. 2 post. "Two days a month for two hours, I'll pay you to be my son's friend. All you have to do is sit with him and play video games in his room. Nothing else."
Donna clarified that candidates would never be alone with Bowers. She insisted on payment to ensure applicants were serious and would actually show up. And, she said, her son would never know about the payment.
"I tagged him so you can see his profile," she wrote. "He does not know how to read, so he can't read the post."
Donna went to sleep and when she awoke, her post had been shared six thousand times by people around the world, including people in Ireland, Australia, Japan and Nigeria.
"I panicked and almost took it down," she says.
Then, she noticed that in the comments section, other parents of special-needs children were writing to each other and chatting with volunteers about setting up their own friendships. "I realized, 'Wow, this doesn't just happen to Christian,'" she says.
Four new friends have since visited Bowers. All replied to her "help wanted" post, she said, but in the end declined to accept any money.
"I'll say, 'Christian, there's a new friend who wants to spend time with you," says Donna. "He's so excited that he doesn't ask questions."
Bowers and his friends hang out in his bedroom, watching movies or playing video games. Next week, he has plans to go swimming. Donna says the men have been "perfect matches" for her son.
The volume of invitations became unmanageable, so Donna purchased a day planner to organize Bowers' full schedule.
On Feb. 14, eight police officers from St. Charles and nearby towns visited Donna's home to hang out with Bowers and eat pizza and cookies, donated from a restaurant and bakery. Next month, he'll go bowling with military police trainees and visit three local fire departments.
On March 23, Wentzville mayor Nick Guccione will appoint Bowers "Mayor for the Day" in the nearby town.
"Christian will be sworn in and awarded a certificate," Guccione tells TODAY.com. "He'll also ride on a fire truck, visit the police station and attend a board meeting where he'll be handed a gavel to bang. We want him to know he is loved in the community."
Currently, Bowers is booked into July. On her Facebook page, Donna shared a P.O. Box and an address for any fan mail and care packages.
"The love being shown to our son is amazing," says Donna. "Christian says having friends over feels like heaven. He goes to bed with a smile on his face and when he talks to himself, I know he is replaying everything."
Watching Bowers finally make friends is gratifying, after years of struggling.
The pain of watching your child struggle "doesn't lessen with time — it gets harder," she says. "Christian says, 'Hey mommy, when I turn 25, I want my driver's license,' but that will never happen. Or he'll say, 'When I am married and have kids' or 'When I move out...' but he isn't high-functioning enough to live on his own."
Donna said some people have accused her of "selling" Bowers.
"I'm not selling my kid; I'm selling two hours of his time," she explains. "Unless you have a child with special needs, you won't understand the pain they go through every single day."
While Donna understands the attention from her post won't last forever, she is optimistic.
"My hope is that a few of these young men will want to stick around for years to come."
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This article was originally published on TODAY.com
