This Mom's Son Wears Dresses and, Yes, She's Cool With It
When photographer Crystal Kells' son was born five years ago, she realized that parenting was not only about love and putting someone's needs before your own, but raising someone with respect towards who they are. That's why she lets her son, Cian, wear whatever he wants - including dresses.
"I want my son to grow up knowing he has a voice," Kells wrote in a recent blog post featuring pictures of her son. "Grow up knowing he can do and be anything he wants to be in this world. Grow up having the confidence to express himself. Grow up being able to love himself. So, I made sure I did (and still do) these things for my son."
In her post, Kells explained that Cian loves both things that are considered stereotypically for girls and for boys. He loves wearing a cape and playing superheroes, he loves playing cars and cutting his hair short. But he also loves to wear clothes typically made for girls, and that's OK with her. Kells wrote that her son is a boy and he knows he's a boy, but this shouldn't impact the clothes he wears.
"We are teaching him that girls have a vagina and boys have a penis," she wrote. "He doesn't use his penis to be able to wear a dress, nor does he use his penis to operate the dolls and cars he plays with. His gender does not dictate what he should wear or what he should play with because he does not use his gender to operate or use it. My husband and I are raising him without gender stereotypes."
Her and her husband shy away from teaching Cian that certain things are for girls while others are for boys. "What difference does it actually make?" she asked.
Kells made a point of noting that Cian is not transgender - at least, not yet. "Some days he says he wants to be a girl with a vagina and we simply tell him, 'When you're an adult, you can certainly make the decision to change to that if you wish'. He's 5. He also wants to be a Mermaid and Ironman," she wrote. "We support our child in whoever they are and look forward to seeing how their gender expression manifests as they age. The most important thing to us is the health and happiness of our son."
She decided to share her parenting ideas knowing that she would probably receive backlash (like so many moms do when they post online), and even though she doesn't expect everyone to agree with her, she hopes people can respect the fact that her son is happy.
"What I do expect is not to be treated like I'm abusing my son," Kells wrote. "What I do expect is for people to see that my son is happy and realize that that is all that matters at the end of the day. Because I became the parent he needs me to be, he has more confidence in his little finger than most adults will ever have in their entire life."
Because of Cian, she wrote, she is not only the parent he needs her to be, but the parent she wants to be. And kudos to that.
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