#MeToo was wrong - women can be just as predatory as men
Because of the threat of violence, men are generally more feared than women – sexually and otherwise. Certain branches of feminism focus on male sexual predation, as if the only people in the world who get completely obsessive about the opposite (and sometimes the same) sex are men. #MeToo, which had as its starting point a valid call for an end to the sexual harassment and assault of women, over time became more of a scare-campaign: women beware; a man is always watching and waiting.
It always bothered me that this worldview seemed to exclude female sexual desire in all its intensity – including the bad stuff. While men certainly commit the vast majority of crimes, including sexual crimes; women aren’t all coy little maidens falling prey to masculine lust. Women can be plenty obsessional, and plenty menacing – which is hardly a surprise for those who have paid attention to the passions and tactics of teenage girls.
Which is why I have found the Netflix thriller Baby Reindeer interesting. Based on a real case, it tells the story of Martha, who becomes obsessed with, and begins stalking, a man called Donny after he serves her a cup of tea to cheer her up. She begins frequenting his bar every day and harassing his girlfriend.
Laura Wray, claiming to be a real-life victim of ‘Martha’ – allegedly based on Scottish lawyer Fiona Harvey – has come out and said she is triggered by the Netflix release. Wray said watching an interview with Harvey on Piers Morgan’s talk show brought back what she alleged was a relentless campaign of harassment, though this is strenuously denied by Harvey.
In my experience a woman can be almost as scary – and certainly as persistent – as any man when sexual desire mutates from passion to monstrosity.
