Matchmaker hopes in-person N.B. events will draw romantics tired of dating apps
When pandemic restrictions ended, Jean-eva Dickie said it was like the Roaring '20s again.
After two years of isolation and hardship, people were eager to connect and have fun. Dickie's first post-COVID singles mixer was only supposed to sell 150 tickets — but then 300 people signed up.
"They were just so excited to get into a room and meet other singles that it sold out," Dickie said in an interview.
Since coming to New Brunswick, Dickie said her matchmaking company has been slowly increasing the frequency of events because of demand. A recent speed-dating event in Moncton, for singles aged 25-39, sold out. She's also holding events in Saint John.
Jean-eva Dickie is the owner of Book of Love Canada, which launched in Nova Scotia in 2018 and expanded to New Brunswick last summer. The service hosts speed-dating nights, singles mixers and even events to make friends — all in-person. (Submitted by Jean-eva Dickie)
Dickie chalks up the interest in face-to-face events to dating-app burnout.
CBC News recently reported that according to researchers, more users are feeling emotionally fatigued from spending so much time on dating apps without achieving any quality results.
Apps themselves are contributing to that problem. Researchers say some are becoming increasingly addictive, designed to keep users hooked and paying to find the best matches. A group of users in the U.S. have even brought a class action lawsuit against Match Group, which owns Hinge, Tinder and Match, for that reason.
WATCH | Matchmaker explains why her clients are sick of online dating:
Dickie estimates that 97 per cent of her clients tell her the reason they want to try matchmaking is because they've had poor experiences with online dating.
"We have a lot of singles coming to us feeling that burnout from online dating and just hoping for anything different," Dickie said.
Dr. Y. Andre Wang is an assistant psychology professor at the University of Toronto who researches how people form likes and dislikes. One of his key findings is that what people think they might like in a potential romantic partner doesn't often align with what they actually like.
"If I go through a dating profile, and I already have preconceived notions or stereotypes about what this person is like and whether or not that's going to work for me, I might not reach out. I might not initiate a conversation and get to know this person who might end up sweeping me off my feet."
WATCH | Why context is more important than you think when it comes to dating:
Wang suspects that part of the attraction to speed-dating events is that they can open people's minds more.
"There's a good body of psychological evidence now suggesting that that initial attraction, even if based on a short period of time, can actually be quite predictive of what happens down the road."
How does it work?
Dickie says on average, one couple will come out of a speed-dating event, which is usually hosted at a bar or restaurant. At one of her events in March, 12 matches emerged from a group of eight men and eight women.
"Fingers crossed one of those turns into a couple," Dickie said.
Each date is six minutes long. In an email the night before the event, Dickie's company advises suitors not to ask each other what they do for a living because repeating your profession six times in a row isn't very interesting.
Instead, attendees are encouraged to think of creative, conversation-building questions. The matchmaking worksheet will even offer a handful of suggestions to help people prove they have personalities separate from their occupations, such as:
What animal would be cutest if scaled down to the size of a cat?
What fictional place would you most like to go?"
Dickie says she hopes to add more events, more often in New Brunswick, including LGBTQ+ events. (Submitted by Jean-Eva Dickie)
If two people match, they get each other's contact information the next day. The rest is up to them.
As for those who are willing to try out an in-person event like this, CBC tried to reach out through social media to speak with those who tried it. Unfortunately, the only person willing to speak requested anonymity.
Tickets for a recent speed-dating event in Moncton were $40 each. You're welcome to raise an eyebrow at that price, Dickie said, but pointed out that people can spend hundreds of dollars on dating apps.
She added that a ticket acts as a secondary vetting process for prospective mates — it shows that someone has the means to pay for a date, and perhaps more importantly, an intentionality that hopeful romantics can usually only guess at when swiping through dating profiles.
"You're actually filtering out those people that are just looking for hookups. You're filtering out those people that are going to come with a negative mindset," Dickie said.
By the end of 2024, Dickie hopes to add more events, more often in New Brunswick, including friending and LGBTQ+ events.
