Madison Cawthorn Wastes Last Speech on House Floor Complaining About ‘Metrosexuals’

Soon-to-be-former Rep. Madison Cawthorn (R-NC) used his last speech on the House floor on Wednesday to rally his colleagues against the impending threat of “soft metrosexuals.”

In a fitting coda to a bizarre single term in office, Cawthorn wasted his final precious minutes on C-SPAN sounding the alarm on the death spiral of masculinity. “Our young men are taught that weakness is strength, that delicacy is desirable, and that being a soft metrosexual is more valuable than training the mind, body, and soul,” the 27-year-old said during his heated remarks.

“Social media has weakened us, siphoning our men of their will to fight,” he continued. “To rise in a noble manner, square their jaws and charge once more into the breach of line to defend what they love.”

The fiery show of strength against the scourge of fragile lads apparently overwhelming U.S. defenses marked one of the rare instances Cawthorn has reared his head since losing North Carolina’s primary earlier this year. The millennial was narrowly beaten out by three-term state senator and business owner Chuck Edwards, who received the backing of several old-guard Republicans who had made it clear they’d wearied of the freshman congressman’s scandalous record.

Selections from Cawthorn’s gallery of greatest-hit controversies include sexual abuse allegations dating back to his college years; accusations of insider trading; being stopped for attempting to bring a gun through airport security (twice); being pictured wearing women’s lingerie; being filmed while nude and thrusting his crotch into another man’s face; and that time he heavily implied that members of his very own Grand Old Party made a habit of inviting him to cocaine-fueled orgies.

In the wake of his defeat, Cawthorn reportedly skipped town, vacating his D.C. office two months ahead of time, according to the Asheville Citizen Times.

But on Wednesday, little of that seemed to matter. In Cawthorn’s view, as he explained to those of his fellow House members still listening, the country is teetering on a “precipice of disaster.” With that in mind, he wanted to “ask the young men of this nation a question.”

“Will you sit behind a screen while the storied tales of your forefathers become myth? Or will you stand resolute against the dying light of America’s golden age? Will you reclaim your masculinity? Will you become a man to be feared? To be respected? To be looked up to? Or will you let this Nation's next generation be its final generation?”

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