Lululemon Is Looking for a Powerful (Maybe Satanic?) Leader

Alexander Abad-Santos
Lululemon Is Looking for a Powerful (Maybe Satanic?) Leader

Lululemon, purveyor of exhibitionist yoga wear, is looking for a new CEO after Christine Day stepped down this week. They placed an ad looking for a candidate to lead their company who will "wear The Mansy to lead our company-wide morning chant and kombucha ritual." They're joking ... we hope? The Mansy is a Borat-esque bodysuit (at right) which was thankfully an April Fool's joke. 

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The big and bright ad appears when you get to the Lululemon homepage. Click through to the ad and you'll find that the company is stating that a day in the life of their CEO includes this:

In plain English that's:

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  • You communicate powerfully, often through a language that's often turned into trendy tattoos by yoga people

  • You are disciplined, focused and can hold a complex yoga pose for 10 minutes

  • You’re a long-term thinker.

  • You already have a plan to bring yoga and an athletic fabric that Lululemon made way too transparent to Mars by 2018

  • You break all the rules like ... we give up. 

If this job appeals to you, well, you probably know it. Leading Lululemon is cute and shy and semi-coherent if you're a Lulu fanatic and speak Yogaese. And it's a way for the company to poke fun at itself. But, it's still a very strange, abnormally perky, and Tracy Flick-esque (not exactly out of character for the company) for company that's had a streak of bad news. It's hard to imagine another multi-billion dollar company acting this way.

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All this smiling through adversity and cutesy jokes are enough to make you wonder if Virginia lieutenant governor candidate E.W. Jackson and his assertions that yoga makes you vulnerable to Satanic possession wasn't on to something. "The purpose of meditation is to empty oneself... [Satan] is happy to invade the empty vacuum of your soul and possess it," he had said in a 2008 book but then walked back in an unusual press conference this week. It's unclear if the dark arts practiced at Lululemon HQ forced Mr. Jackson into his retraction.