Lauren Boebert Just Realized She Lives in a Glass House

By now, you’ve heard that Tyler Boebert, the 18-year old scion who made Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) a 36-year-old grandmother, was arrested after going on an alleged crime spree. There may even be a sex tape. We can all agree that this situation is sad and unfortunate. And if Tyler were under the age of 18, I would not be writing this piece. But he’s not, and I am.

I’m no prude. Nor do I think parents are to blame for every wayward child. Stuff happens even in the best of families. There but for the grace of God go I. What is more, it’s not like Boebert is the first politician to endure an embarrassing family scandal. But the Boeberts are a special case for a couple of reasons.

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First, the day before the news broke about Tyler, Boebert tweeted: “The Biden Crime Family will go down as the most corrupt political family in American history.”

Tyler Boebert and Hunter Biden are both adult men who appear to be very troubled. But (for now, at least) there is about as much evidence that Joe Biden was involved in Hunter’s alleged criminal behavior as there is that Lauren was involved in Tyler’s—which is to say, there is none. Apparently, Lauren sees Hunter as “fair game.”

But that’s not the only example of her hypocrisy. After Lauren was kicked out of Beetlejuice last September for vaping and groping her date, Meghan McCain weighed in with a comment that put things in perspective: “[Boebert] lectures everyone about the LGBT community being a threat to children,” she wrote, “while getting caught performing a lewd sex act in a public theatre where children possibly were.”

Boebert has also been outspoken about illegal immigrants bringing crime into America. Ironically, a larger percentage of crime is probably coming from inside the house.

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This brings us to the second reason this story is relevant: The sheer number of times a Boebert has been embroiled in controversies and run-ins with the law. Anyone can make a mistake or have a bad day. But Lauren Boebert was arrested at least four times before she ran for Congress.

And Boebert’s now-ex husband, Jayson, also has had his share of brushes with law enforcement, too, including an arrest for allegedly exposing his penis to a woman at a bowling alley.

In what would be the first in a long line of bad decisions and poor judgment calls, Lauren married him after this incident.

A couple of months ago, an altercation with Lauren resulted in Jayson being charged with “disorderly conduct, third-degree criminal trespass and obstructing a peace office.” And in an entirely separate incident, he was also involved in a physical fight with Tyler, during which Jayson reportedly “grabbed a rifle after the teen called authorities.”

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Not since Track Palin’s arrest for allegedly assaulting Todd Palin has a prominent Republican family come this close to resembling guests on The Jerry Springer Show.

Based on Lauren and Jayson’s extensive rap sheets, I’m not sure Tyler had a fighting chance to escape this cycle of dysfunction. Hopefully, he eventually transcends the example set by his parents.

The larger question is why someone like Lauren Boebert was able to win election to the House of Representatives when her own house seems to be so messed up. Similarly, why is the Republican Party—the party of “family values” and “law and order”—sending us so many problematic people?

Perhaps it’s a sign of the times (we eventually get the leaders we deserve), and yes, the lower House is supposed to be representative of we the people. But couldn’t we aim a little higher?

Whether it’s Boebert or allegations about Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), the head of the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), or the chair of the Florida Republican Party (just to mention a few recent examples), one gets the sense that Republicans are no longer sending us their best and brightest. It feels more like they are scraping the bottom of the proverbial barrel.

A while back, I observed that “when it comes to being ‘groomed’—literally—your grandchildren are safer with a Libs of TikTok teacher than they are trying to score a Republican internship or campaign gig.” Similarly, you’d be hard-pressed to find more weirdos and (alleged) criminals at a New Orleans strip club than you would at a Republican caucus meeting in 2024.

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So how’d we get here?

One gets the sense that the rise of Donald Trump has served as something of a magnet, attracting people who previously weren’t interested in politics (or thought their past behavior would be disqualifying), while sending more respectable leaders to an early retirement.

With the Republican Party poised to nominate Trump as their standard bearer for a third time, it’s safe to say there will be a new crop of Boeberts representing their districts come January. Who needs salacious soap operas or scripted TV dramas? America has politics as its favorite reality freak show.

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