Lacey woman 'haunted forever' by report on vets nursing home where COVID killed parents

Regina Discenza’s phone started buzzing in early September, as the Justice Department’s scathing report on New Jersey’s nursing-home failures during the pandemic began making the rounds.

“You have to read this,” people told the Lacey resident, who lost both of her parents to COVID-19 contracted in nursing homes.

“It took me three tries to get through all 43 pages,” Discenza said. “It was heartbreaking, to have to live through that whole thing again.”

In the end, she said, “It confirmed everything I already knew.”

The report focused on the failures at the state-run veterans homes in Paramus and Menlo Park, where 200 residents died from COVID, and excoriated New Jersey’s Department of Military and Veterans Affairs as well as the nursing home staffs. It cited "serious cleanliness issues" and "deficient basic medical care” and detailed how deceased residents' belongings were piled outside in garbage bags for weeks.

Discenza, whose parents Madeline and Charles Constantino resided in Menlo Park, knew that last problem all too well.

“They threw away all my parents’ things,” she said. “They could have returned them, but they couldn’t be bothered. My mother’s pocketbook was especially important, and I didn’t get it back."

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'I was doing everything I could to forget'

Does the Justice Department report give her a sense of closure?

Not really.

“This hit me extra hard," she said, "because I was doing everything I could to forget.”

Does it give her hope that things will change?

“Hopefully this helps, but I’m going to be doing everything in my power to stay out of those facilities, and my kids know this now,” the 61-year-old said. “It’s a horrible thing for children or grandchildren to see what’s happening.”

When Discenza says “those facilities,” she’s not just speaking of the Paramus and Menlo Park homes, which are for veterans (her father served in the Army). She strongly believes the tragedy at those sites are emblematic of problems across assisted living.

“To be 100% honest, my mother was in three more facilities and they were pretty much all the same,” she said. “I also went through this with my grandmother and my aunt. I was in this rodeo for a really long time.”

If Discenza were governor, how would she address the problem?

“They need more medical personnel in these places,” she said. “The CEO at Menlo Park (Elizabeth Schiff-Heedles, who was fired in late 2020) had no medical background. They didn’t know anything about infection control. It was the worst scenario ever.”

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'Always make your voice heard'

Although these homes charge a hefty price — Discenza said she was paying $12,000 per month to have both of her parents stay at Menlo Park, and that was with her father’s veterans discount — they can’t be run like bottom-line businesses.

“They have to operate like a hospital,” she said. “Any hospital my parents were ever in was so much better than a nursing home. Let’s face it: Taking care of that population is almost like hospitalization.”

She also has hard-earned advice for family members of nursing-home residents.

“I showed up twice a week, and they never knew when I was coming because I never came the same day and time,” she said. “You don’t want them being prepared for you to show up.”

Showing up is the best advocacy. At Menlo Park, Discenza said, a staff member told her that only a third of the residents ever received visitors. Two-thirds were completely alone, totally at the mercy of a broken system.

“Never stop visiting,” she said. “Always make your voice heard.”

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Of course, during the pandemic that was impossible. Visitors were barred, and as the Justice Department report detailed, families were left in the dark. The final kick in the head, Discenza said, was when she asked for her parents’ belongings and eventually got the personal effects of four other deceased residents instead.

“If they weren’t taking care of the people, they weren’t going to take care of their belongings,” she said.

She did get the eight-inch metal crucifix that hung above her father’s bed, but only after driving up to Menlo Park and banging on the window of his old room.

So yeah, the 43-page report was hardly balm on Discenza's wound.

“It was really hard to read that,” she said. “These families are going to be haunted forever.”

Jerry Carino is community columnist for the Asbury Park Press, focusing on the Jersey Shore’s interesting people, inspiring stories and pressing issues. Contact him at jcarino@gannettnj.com.

This article originally appeared on Asbury Park Press: Lacey woman 'haunted' by parents' COVID deaths at NJ nursing home