The Korea Times, the largest of three English-language daily newspapers in South Korea, added a breaking story to their science subhead on Tuesday: A Swedish company named Ocean Explorer uncovered an alien ship remarkably similar to the Millennium Falcon on the bottom of the Baltic Sea.
The United Nations dispatched authorities in Unidentified Submarine Objects, or USOs, along with an elite Navy SEALS team to the Baltic Sea in response to the clearly urgent situation.
The ship is said to be an abandoned vessel from Planet Gootan, and reports indicate that there may be 29 more Gootan ships in oceans around the world, according to the article.
What are the details on this farcical vessel? The Korea Times explains that, too.
Experts from the U.N. Panel of Extraterrestrials believe the ship to be an abandoned base from which Gootans used to spy on humans.
According to Dr. Simon Michaels, who shared (or didn’t) his understanding of the matter, “over the past three decades, we’ve had such sightings from time to time. But the vast increase in reports over the last few months confirms that we are dealing with a major alien invasion from Planet Gootan.”
The Korea Times got their terrifying Gootan ship story from the “The Worlds Only Reliable News” — the Weekly World News. Weekly World News is a weekly U.S. tabloid best known for its fabricated Bat Boy story, in which the half-bat, half-boy became involved in Earth politics and had an affair with Hillary Clinton.
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