These kids wrote a film script and OMG the horror
We tend to think of children as pure, innocent creatures, but deep down we know they nurture a hilariously dark imagination.
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That is particularly apparent when we encourage them to produce works of art, be it a scribbled paper or a simple script.
The latter happened to the Scottish novelist John Niven, whose kids — aged 10 and 8 — wrote a screenplay while on holiday. And it is nothing short of a noir/horror/action masterpiece:
Oh hols in Aviemore. The kids, Andrew (10) and Lila (8), wanted to write a screenplay. I showed them Final Draft. Here's page one. pic.twitter.com/CuYIP0O4j5
— John Niven (@NivenJ1) April 2, 2017
Let's dissect the draft, shall we?
First, the setting: it's in the interior of an asylum in the evening. A classic backdrop for horror stories.
Then, the characters: Bill, a 80-year-old former SAS agent who is clearly not done with his career and Dr Yankins (!), the arrogant, unprofessional psychiatrist who dared to challenge Bill's convictions.
But it's the style and the writing that has got us all hooked. Bill is "going crackers" and he "humorously" killed his former psychiatrist.
People on Twitter took noticed, and were gripped:
@NivenJ1 'is going crackers' is my favourite part.
— Daniel Maier (@danielmaier) April 2, 2017
@NivenJ1 Would watch
— Rupert Myers (@RupertMyers) April 2, 2017
@NivenJ1 @katbrown Well, I'm gripped. What happens next?
— James Brough (@thasceles) April 2, 2017
@NivenJ1 Already better than 95% of movies that get made.
— Chris Hewitt (@ChrisHewitt) April 2, 2017
@NivenJ1 'After humorously killing his former psychiatrist ...' This is pure gold. Act as their agent and get them signed up.
— David Lewis (@davidclewis) April 2, 2017
@NivenJ1 Yankins got what was coming to him after that unprofessional outburst. I'm with Bill. Hope he doesn't die in the khazi on p2.
— Ian Smith (@FarmerGedon) April 2, 2017
@NivenJ1 I'm hooked! Dese kids is dynamite! Get me Selznick!
— @basilatwork (@basilatwork) April 2, 2017
@NivenJ1 I'd watch it.
— Chris Noel (@chrisnoelie) April 2, 2017