Kid Rock Visits White House to Rekindle His Relationship With Authority
"Uh oh, I got the mic"—perhaps the truest statement Kid Rock has ever uttered—is honest-to-God how he began his remarks at a White House press conference on Thursday. Rock was present at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue because President Trump needed musicians who don't despise him to stand around for the signing of the Music Modernization Act, a bipartisan bill that improves copyright law in the wild west of the streaming services era. The bill, from all indications, is a needed change, but also, bipartisan legislation is boring. The real story here is the heartwarming news that Kid Rock and Authority are back together again, baby.
Rock and Authority have engaged in an on-again, off-again relationship that's captured the nation's attention for decades now. We don't know exactly when it kicked off, though best estimates show they probably started seeing each other when Rock, a diehard Republican and performative man of the people, began making millions and millions of dollars.
Then, on April 12, 2016, the famously guarded couple had their personal life spill into the public sphere when Rock tweeted this:
A state court? Were Rock and Authority getting a divorce? Were they ever married? This was devastating news for anyone who held onto hope that love is real.
Almost exactly a year later, Rock asked for Authority's forgiveness in a genuinely touching way, visiting the White House with stomped-out cigarette butt Ted Nugent and former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, which must've been a little awkward, since Palin has always been hopelessly in love with Authority. Things got even weirder when the trio took a mocking photo in front of an Authority figure, but they made up for it by posing with the ultimate Authority big boy himself.
A few months later, in July 2017, Rock issued another declaration of his affection, hinting at his intentions to run for Senate (yes, like, the U.S. one), which somehow spawned the website KidRockforSenate.com. As it turns out, Rock was joking about the Senate thing, which is a terribly rude prank to pull on your partner.
Since then, the world has been in the dark about where they've stood with one another, which makes Rock's White House trip on Thursday welcome news. Congrats to the clearly-happy couple. If Rock is smart, he'll put that middle finger down and take a new picture, this time with a ring on the finger that counts.
