Khloé and Rob Finally End Their Fight on "Keeping Up With the Kardashians"
I know I have a tendency to complain about recapping Keeping Up With the Kardashians when there's actual Kardashian/West breaking news (Sunday night's VMAs), but you guys, this episode. THIS. EPISODE. We got a full eight minutes in and the only things that had happened were people working out, people talking about working out, and a brief, admittedly fascinating interlude in which Khloé discussed how she might fit a spray tan in around the activities of Scott's birthday week. That was it. That was the show. But then in true KUWTK fashion, some good stuff got thrown in at the end, so let's get down to that. (If you would like to pause and wait eight interminable minutes before reading this recap out of respect for the turmoil I went through while watching, I would respect that decision.)
The Climactic, Cathartic Reunion of Khloé and Rob: LOL, JK, it was so weird. All season long, in every single episode, sometimes in multiple separate segments, Rob and Khloé's estrangement has been a hot topic. I'd assumed that it was because the show was building toward a big reconciliation at the end of the season, when the two of them would sit down, finally talk everything out, and commit to being at least siblings again, if not friends.
I was partially right, which is to say I was mostly wrong. Kris does finally get Rob to call Khloé, although she sort of cheats by having the conversation with him while Penelope is in the room. The family's tendency to use Penelope, specifically, as a conversational shield, is a separate topic. Khloé's thrilled to hear from him, legitimately, and thrilled to hear he wants to see her. And so Rob comes over and they sit down (she is dressed like an old-time Hollywood starlet and he is in his usual all-black + Dodgers hat uniform) and then they just sort of … stare at each other? Yes, Rob is bashful and awkward on camera, but this was beyond that.
When Kris and Rob were talking, he said that Khloé "should be careful what she says, then, 'cause she does this all to herself," but he doesn't bring that up with Khloé at all? There are half-hearted accusations on both sides about who hasn't reached out when, and Rob says again that Khloé hasn't been welcoming enough to Chyna, and so even though Khloé's happy, it seems like they've just moved into another weird stalemate. Also, I have to know what went so horribly wrong that Rob moved out or I will die.
Hey, Where's Kanye? I'm bringing back this occasional, fan favorite segment because on last night's episode, North asked where Kanye was. Stars, they're just like us! He was back at the house, napping with Saint, whom Kim referred to as "Sainty," which is an odd thing to call a baby, or anything, really.
The Thirst of Scott Disick: So, all of those things I've said about Scott Disick clearly making a good faith effort to move on from Kourtney and respect her boundaries? No, nope, out the window. In spite of worrying about setting a "we'll always come to each other's birthdays!" precedent, Kourtney decides to go to Scott's birthday party in Vegas because Khloé really wanted to, and pretty much the second she gets there, Scott starts sexually harassing Kourtney. On the private plane, he asks, "If at some point, this plane started going down, could we make out? Or have sex?" Then he gets oddly handsy at dinner. Khloé points out that everyone, including Kourtney, would find it weirder if he weren't flirting with her so hard, so at least they're not horribly uncomfortable. And, hey, at least Scott is able to do a birthday in Vegas without it becoming a total debacle - who would've thought?
At This Point We Have to Talk About Kris Jenner's Workout Routine I Guess: While out to lunch with Scott, Kris talks about how she, at 60, needs to figure out a way to increase her energy, have a little more stamina, and overall step it up. My mother, who is also 60 and better than all of us, mitigates this by doing water aerobics four times a week, but I'm not trying to tell Kris Jenner how to live. (Total lie, telling Kris Jenner how to live is a full 15 percent of my professional life.) Anyway, Kris decides to try working out with the girls. It's not exactly a vanity segment in which Kris keeps up with her children reasonably well, but it does feel vaguely braggy. After she hurts her knee, Kourtney buys her a Pilates machine. Kris conspicuously mentions the machine's brand name and shows off the logo during the gifting. Organic!
Khloé's Divorce: It's hard to know what to say about someone getting divorced for what feels like the second time, especially when the circumstances are so tragic. Kim and the rest of the girls don't really know how to talk about it either. They give Khloé a spa day to try to cheer her up, and they (and I) hope this is the start of happier days for her. She's earned 'em.
Last Words: "I don't want to rock the boat and talk too deep about it in case you change your mind." -Kim, talking to Khloé about the divorce, in possibly the realest real talk moment of the series
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