Jon Stewart Declares China the Winner of the Iraq War

Esther Zuckerman

On The Daily Show last night, Jon Stewart announced the prize for victor of the Iraq War, and the nominees were Iraq, the United States, and Daniel Day-Lewis. Shockingly, the prize didn't go to Day-Lewis. It went to an underdog that wasn't even nominated: China. "You've already beaten us in synchronized drumming, and bear cuteness, air chewability and you've got to take this from us too?" Why? Because it's the top buyer of Iraq's oil.

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So that means, according to Stewart, all those protesters with the "No Blood for Oil" signs were wrong. They had the "no" in the wrong place. It should have been "Blood for No Oil." 

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