Jeremy Renner Is Having a Baby
Today in celebrity news: Hawkeye will soon be a daddy, Naomi and Liev have left New York, and Prince Harry is more eligible than anyone else.
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Word is, Jeremy Renner told a shocked Eva Longoria that he is having a baby while the two were at a Golden Globes party on Sunday night. According to Us Weekly, two witnesses overheard the pair talking on the smoking patio at a party, with Jeremy saying, "I'm going to fly in when her water breaks," and Longoria replying, "I'm so blown away." The lady having the baby, which is due next month, is an ex-girlfriend of Renner's, a relationship that "wasn't serious," though she is currently living in Renner's house. That's about all we know at this point. So, congrats? Sure, congratulations. A baby is exciting even if the circumstances are a little strange. And who knows, maybe they'll work it out and get back together. She is living in his house, after all. It's like some kind of sitcom. Well, actually, it's almost exactly like when Rachel moved in with Ross after having Emma, only Rachel and Ross were definitely more than "wasn't serious." (She got off the plane!) But, other than that, it's kind of the same thing, isn't it? Jeremy Renner is Ross. Sorry, Jeremy, but you are. [Us Weekly]
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Longtime downtown Manhattan dwellers Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber — who are often seen biking around with their children and looking impossibly put-together — are moving to Los Angeles. Yes, the couple was spotted enrolling their son in a public school (PUBLIC SCHOOL??) on the west side of L.A. the other day, so it's official. This is likely because Schreiber has a new TV series out there, a Showtime show called Ray Donovan, so it just makes sense for everyone to relocate. It's strange, because ultimately who really cares, but there's something sad about when celebrities make the jump from New York to Los Angeles. Because they so rarely jump back. Or, really, they rarely make the move the other direction in the first place. Sure Sally Field bought a place in New York and Jennifer Aniston toyed with the idea, but who else, really? The Kardashian girls for a little while? I think that once you get used to having a house and a yard and a pool and warmth and sunshine, this gray maze seems a little less appealing. It sucks you in, all that weather out there, and it doesn't spit you back out. Plus it's closer to work and meetings and stuff. That too. So, oh well, Naomi and Liev. Adios. Enjoy California. And resign yourselves to the fact that you're going to raise L.A. kids instead of New York kids and think about what that might mean. [Page Six]
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The producers of The Canyons, that fascinating film project from Paul Schrader and Lindsay Lohan, is apparently upset that the Sundance Film Festival totally burned them by not accepting the film. They thought the film would be accepted after the Sundance people reached out and asked for a screening, but then the movie was rejected and they are, of course, blaming Lohan. To quote TMZ: "They think Lindsay was a 'turn off' to the highfalutin Sundance folks." Which, um, "highfalutin"? Sure, certainly some films that could be described as "highfalutin" have screened at Sundance, but they also screened The Blair Witch Project and The Wackness and happythankyoumoreplease and Saw, for god's sake. I don't think that Lindsay Lohan is exactly beyond the pale when it comes to Sundance. I think that mayyyybe it's just not a good movie. I mean, clearly this scene is a brilliant work of art, but it might not represent the film as a whole? Just a hunch. [TMZ]
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Apparently Downton Abbey star Michelle Dockery had red wine spilled on her gorgeous white Golden Globes dress on Sunday night by a waiter she bumped into. Several glasses fell off his tray, one of them with red wine in it, and the wine left a mark all the way down her dress. Though Dockery "looked horrified and covered her mouth," she quickly and calmly asked for some white wine, which is a way of getting out the stain. Who knows if she was successful. What's important is that she didn't freak out. No, she dealt with it calmly and with one curt nod of her head the waiter was taken out back and whipped mercilessly by Mr. Carson while the rest of the glamorous evening continued unfazed. That is the way it is done in civilized society. [Us Weekly]
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Harry — fire-haired Briton prince, sexual conqueror, Panama hat-wearer — has been named the world's most eligible bachelor by Town & Country magazine. To which we say, uh, duh. I mean, who else could have been at the top of that list? Other than Jeremy the question-asker from the presidential debate, who possibly could have beaten Prince goddamned Harry on an eligible bachelors list? It's just ridiculous. Sure your grandmother says that her friend Barb's grandson Ethan is very handsome and studying to be a doctor and that sounds good and all, but Ethan Rosensweig is not Prince Harry. Sorry, Ethan, but you're not. Prince Harry wins by a wide margin. A wide, wide margin. Hilariously, Conor Kennedy is also on the list. He's 18 years old, Town & Country. Cool your jets. [People]
