Jennifer Aniston to Become a Hooker
The Call Sheet sifts through the day's glut of Hollywood news to find the stories even non-industry types care about. Today: Jen considers a risque role, a legendary rap album comes to life, and Tom Hanks might go seriously Disney.
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Poor sad Jennifer Aniston will be starring as "the girl" in yet another comedy. Though there's a twist with this one. Aniston, who of course, it must be mentioned always, had her husband stolen away from her by a witch that Jon Voight birthed from his loins a thousand years ago, is apparently considering joining the comedy We're the Millers, about a drug dealer (very likely Jason Sudeikis) who hires a fake family and an RV so he can smuggle some sweet, sweet drugs across the country inconspicuously. Aniston will play the fake wife who, in actuality, is a prostitute! So that could be a fun kind of departure for Aniston. (Most of her departures are sad, they're going to the departures gate at the airport by herself and watching all the happy couples hug each other goodbye and say see you real soon to each other. She sits there for hours and hours, watching them, sighing her sing-songy sigh.) Of course there is potential that it will just be another boring "the girl" role with a little spicy prostitute pepper thrown in, but ah well. Let's choose to have faith in Jennifer Aniston! We believe in you! Even if you don't believe in yourself. [Deadline]
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Oh man. Here's some news that's sure to thrill the likes of John Derbyshire and his pals: Director F. Gary Gray is in talks to direct Straight Outta Compton, a biopic of the original gangsta rappers (or some of the originals, at least), N.W.A. You know, Ice Cube and Dre and Easy E and the gang. We can't wait until Mitt Romney is president and he invites the cast and crew to the White House for some sort of gala event and everyone at Mother Jones and MSNBC goes crazy and says "Remember Common???" Because it seems really likely that Romney would have them to the White House, right? And that Romney will win? Terrific. But yeah. Straight Outta Compton: The Movie. [The Hollywood Reporter]
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Tom-Tommney-Tom-Tommney Hanks-Hanks-Herry is getting close to signing a deal to star in Saving Mr. Banks, a drama about a group of WWII soldiers who make their way across battle-torn Europe in search of Uncle Phil. No, no, just joshing. The movie is actually about Walt Disney spending a decade and a half wooing the author of Mary Poppins in the hopes that she will let his studio turn her book into a movie (ooh, I wonder how it ends??). Yes, Poppins. Hence all the Tom-Tommney and all that. That's how they talk in Mary Poppins. Tom Tommney Tom Tommney Tom Tom Tery! That's what most of Tom Hanks' lines will be in the movie, if he chooses to do it. I mean, they need to make it exciting somehow. As it is now, it sounds like a total snoozefest. "Can I make a movie of this book?" "No." [Repeat for fourteen years.] Blah. Must have Poppinsspeak to be good. [Deadline]
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Oh dear. Another Chevy Chase v. Community creator Dan Harmon (I keep typing Mark Harmon and thinking it would be very funny if Mark Harmon created Community and had a bitter, swear-laden public feud with Chevy Chase) rant has surfaced, because nothing stays quiet or buried these days. Sorry, guys. We live in zombie times. This one is just more of Chevy complaining about what's funny and what isn't funny and calling Gillian Jacobs "Ghill-ee-an," like Gilly from Saturday Night Live. It's mostly just a sad old angry man being sad, old, and angry, but if you want to give it a listen, here it is.
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Last week we learned that one-time heartthrob turned mystery figure Josh Hartnett was shopping around for a new agent, taking meetings all over town with people who are convinced they can turn him into a big, big star again. And now he has chosen! Yes, all the townsfolk of Century City gathered round, clutching each others' hands in anxiety and awe, and craned their ears toward the overturned barrel on which Hartnett stood to issue his proclamation. And then they were shocked to find that Hartnett, courted by all the biggest players in town, chose not CAA (well, that's actually where he came from), not WME, not ICM, but instead IFA. No, he's not enrolled himself in NYU's Institute of Fine Arts, nor is he joining the International Franchise Association and opening up a Subway sandwich restaurant. IFA is a small agency on the scene, and that's who Hartnett has chosen. What? Why?? Well, his agent also represents Angelina Jolie, Chris Hemsworth, and Ryan Gosling. So. Boom. Sometimes smaller is better. We're oddly rooting for this comeback, so this seems like a good choice. Well done, Joshie boy! [Deadline]
