Amazon chief, Washington Post owner, and budding super-villain Jeff Bezos had one heck of a 2016, going from super-mega-rich to super-duper-mega-hella rich.
We know this thanks to Forbes' annual billionaire list, or as it's known in my house, Forbes' annual "My God, what have I done with my life, I am so incredibly inadequate and I will never amount to anything because look at these rich jerks" list.
According to the list, Bezos boosted his total worth from his 2016 number of only $45.2 billion to his 2017 number of $72.8 billion. It's good enough to bump him up from fifth in the rankings to third, the first time Bezos has cracked the top three.
TL;DR, while you were lamenting how terrible 2016 was, Jeff Bezos was getting richer and dressing up as an alien for the latest Star Trek film.
— Jeff Bezos (@JeffBezos) July 20, 2016
Oh, and HUGGING MICHELLE OBAMA.
Image: Susan Walsh/AP/REX/Shutterstock
And good for him. America rewards entrepreneurial spirit, from Bezos to the person who invented the Chia Pet. Fortunately, all this hard work hasn't distracted Bezos from his plans to build a rocket, procure robot suit and swim in that giant vault of gold below his mansion.
Forbes credits Bezos' big boost to the growing success of Amazon Web Services, otherwise known as "the reason you couldn't post to Facebook for a few hours that one time."
How much of this growing fortune will be spent on Oscar-winning movies and how much will be spent of Bezos' new drone army has yet to be confirmed, but it's probably going to be a lot.
— Jeff Bezos (@JeffBezos) December 14, 2016
In closing, Jeff, can I borrow $20?