Jay Mills was a cool dad with a cool job at the Washington County Narcotics Task Force

Editor’s note: Each Sunday, The Herald-Mail runs “A Life Remembered.” Each story in this continuing series takes a look back — through the eyes of family, friends, co-workers and others — at a member of the community who died recently. Today’s “A Life Remembered” is about Jay Garrett Mills, who died on Jan. 13 at the age of 43. His obituary appeared in The Herald-Mail on Jan. 16.

Not everybody gets to grow up with a cool dad who has a cool job.

But Jay Mills was a fun-loving, larger-than-life father to Chloe and Brenna and had a heart for serving others as a deputy sheriff.

“Everybody should have a dad like him in their life,” Chloe said.

“Everyone should have a Jay in their life,” wife, Ami, added.

When he wasn't working as a deputy assigned to the Washington County Narcotics Task Force, you might find Mills shooting guns with friends, watching the New York Yankees, laying down perfect stripes with his lawnmower or driving a boat on the Potomac River and "throwing us off the tube," Ami said.

"If there was fun to be had, he was having it," she said.

In-demand mechanic

Mills developed a love for anything with an engine and motion when he was young, and from the age of 8 he spent a lot of time at his family's Shady Bower Sunoco station on National Pike east of Clear Spring.

"My husband always said that anything with a motor, Jay wanted to run it," mom Shirley Mills said. "He loved to run chainsaws. He loved to run the lawnmower.

"He loved to work on cars, the boats, the four-wheeler."

His skill made him an in-demand mechanic.

"(Customers) only wanted Jay to work on their car," Shirley said.

She figures her son probably learned to drive around the age of 8 or 10.

His older sister, April Shupp, said in a note that they used to drive around their property in an old Chevy Blazer, dubbed the "Tree Buster," and that Mills taught her to drive when he was 12.

They had a great childhood filled with cousins, neighbors, playing outside, watching cartoons and taking care of their many cats and kittens, April wrote.

"Jay would shove as many of the cats into anything with wheels and give them the ride of a lifetime," she wrote.

In winter, they played in the snow and in summer they used a bucket and water hose to cool off, and for Mills to clean up before he was allowed back in the house, her note said.

"All his life he played and worked hard," she wrote.

Grade A personality

Mills enjoyed sports from a young age, playing Little League and PONY League baseball as well as high school soccer, baseball and basketball.

When Mills was snubbed for an autograph by Baltimore Oriole Cal Ripken Jr., he became a lifelong fan of the Orioles' rivals, the New York Yankees.

"He knew everything about them," Ami said. "And the (Dallas) Cowboys."

"And he loved Derek Jeter," Chloe said of the Hall of Fame Yankees' shortstop.

As a child, Mills was a good boy with a quick wit, according to Shirley.

"He had a teacher one year who said, 'If I could grade him on his personality he'd get an A.' I said grade him on his personality," she said to laughter from everyone sharing fond memories around the table at his Clear Spring-area home.

More: Self-proclaimed 'history nut' Lynn saved Kennedy Farm for all to enjoy

More: 'Superhuman' Lloyd Smith was a builder, a butcher and family man who loved the simple life

Ami said she had known her husband since middle school, but their romantic feelings never synched up until they started dating in high school. When he had feelings for her, she didn't, and vice-versa.

"So we finally liked each other on the same day," she quipped.

"It finally clicked," Shirley said.

They married in 1998.

Ami's mom, Kathy Itnyre, said Mills "was like a son to us" and that he and her son, Brian Itnyre, were like brothers.

"He was a larger than life person," she said.

'It's just what he always wanted to do'

Mills went to work that same year as a radio dispatcher with the Washington County Sheriff's Office. Back then, the sheriff's office had its own dispatchers before that function was absorbed into the countywide central dispatch system.

He entered the Western Maryland Police Academy to become a sworn deputy as soon as he was old enough.

"It's just what he always wanted to do," Ami said, adding that the job meshed with his desire to take care of others.

Sheriff Doug Mullendore said the same qualities that made Mills an excellent dispatcher showed that he was qualified to become a sworn deputy.

As a dispatcher, he was concerned about both the deputies he was guiding in the field and the people who phoned in seeking help.

"Jay was an excellent deputy," the sheriff said. "I can't say enough about him.

"He was always willing to help others, and he was a compassionate individual."

Mullendore said Mills loved his job and the people he worked with.

"We're going to miss him terribly," the sheriff said. "I'm sure he's serving up in Heaven right now."

Sgt. John Martin knew Mills from the time he was a dispatcher. They became friends and co-workers, and Martin eventually ended up being his supervisor on the narcotics task force.

Martin agreed with Mullendore that Mills was an excellent deputy.

"He had very good instincts and the drive to do the job," Martin said. "He was very energetic and into it very deeply.

"He was very dedicated."

All his coworkers liked him, according to Martin.

"I've never heard a single person say anything bad about Jay," Martin said.

"He loved his work guys," Ami said. "They were like his brothers."

They worked and played as a unit and shared activities outside of work such as bird hunting.

"Hanging out with his buddies and shooting guns, that's what he liked to do," Ami said.

A cool dad

Mill's job was a part of him being a cool dad.

In eighth grade, Chloe got to accompany him on several search warrants after the scenes were secure as a part of her school's day-on-the-job program.

"She couldn't wait to get there," Ami said. "And at 10 o'clock at night I said, 'Do you want to come home? You have school in the morning.'"

Despite his passion, Mills left his work at work.

"When he came home he was a dad and a husband," she said.

He only brought home the cool-dad part.

"He would handcuff us to the table," Chloe said.

According to Brenna, "he'd pretend to tase us all the time."

As for boyfriends, Brenna said they supposedly weren't allowed to date until age 30.

But once he knew their dates were good people, Mills embraced them and welcomed them into the family.

Mills was a member of the Potomac Fish and Game Club, where he enjoyed skeet shooting and spending a lot of time with family on the river.

He loved wakeboarding and towing tubers behind the boat, and had a reputation for playfully trying to dump his passengers.

"If I rode the tube, my husband was the only one allowed to drive the boat," Kathy said with a laugh. "Jay was not going to drive the boat when I was on."

He was also a member of the Stony Cabin Rod and Gun Club, the Fraternal Order of Police and the Sons of the American Legion at the Clear Spring American Legion.

Besides taking care of his family, his home activities included meticulously tending his vast lawn, laying down perfect, decorative stripes with his mower.

"It looked like a baseball field," Ami said. "He was proud of those lines."

Mills began his retirement from the sheriff's office on Dec. 1, but it was cut short by pneumonia related to COVID-19.

Ami had his coffin draped with his police tactical vest, which she now displays over the back of a chair in the kitchen.

"It's going to stay there for a very long time," she said. "It was a part of him for many years.

"It was a major part of his life."

This article originally appeared on The Herald-Mail: Jay Mills was a fun dad who served the public as a deputy sheriff