The Internet Is Amazed by This Guy's Dating Resume

From Cosmopolitan

Like oh so many good romance stories, Joe Adams's tale of viral stardom began with a girl. At the beginning of the semester, this 21-year-old junior at Michigan State University asked a girl that he liked out on a date. Her response?

"She asked if I had a ‘dating résumé’ that she could look at," Joe told Cosmopolitan.com. "Of course, I did not. Obviously, this was her way of saying no, so I did not want to have something similar happen again ... I went home and started making one [for the future]. Two or three hours later, my résumé was born."

To be clear, this résumé is brilliant, and here are just a few reasons why:

1. It states a clear objective, aka to "find a honey with a bitchin' family who enjoys sushi, adventures, and good movies."

2. Lists his job as a "lubricants consultant," which by some miracle is not a sexual euphemism but an actual internship.

3. Gives a genuine appraisal of his skills. It takes a big man to admit he sucks at roller skating but excels at crying (to the movie Marley & Me, no less) and really the latter is much more important.

4. Lists his social media accounts, which notably excludes Tinder.

5. And offers a very helpful pie chart detailing precisely how he spends his time, with schoolwork, religious functions (he's a practicing Catholic), and Netflix binging taking the lead.

Oh and 6. THERE'S A PICTURE OF HIM WITH A LLAMA!!!

For a while, the whole thing was just an inside joke between friends. But then last week, fellow student Ashley Harrington put up a post in a closed Facebook group for the MSU class of 2018, looking for a date for her roommate (who she swore wasn't a weirdo but was just too busy with her schoolwork to bother looking ~for love~ herself).

Sensing a unique opportunity, Joe seized the moment and shared his résumé on the thread.

A fellow MSU student, Simone Campbell, took screenshots of the résumé and posted it on Twitter, where it quickly went viral.

"Going viral has been overwhelming to say the least," Joe explained. While describing all of the attention as "good fun," he adds that "I've gotten more messages than I can comprehend and a ton of attention from girls. I can’t even tell you how many 14-year-old girls have told me I’m their soul mate. It’s been a crazy and constant cycle of receiving messages, followers, and even some creepy text messages."

Despite all of hype, though, Joe doesn't intend to actually use the dating résumé to get dates either - especially since Ashley's roommate chose to take someone else to formal, which means that "officially the resume has a zero percent success rate," Joe notes. (Ouch.)

"The intent of the résumé was really just to make a joke out of getting denied," he concludes philosophically." I don’t carry it around with me or hand them out. I wouldn’t want to be known as 'the résumé guy' around campus. Ironically, this is now what I’m known by…"

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