Home With Tess: Five houseplants that could probably survive nuclear fallout
There was a time not so long ago when my houseplants brought me a major sense of pride. I doted on them, nurtured them and checked on them everyday to make sure they were thriving.
But since a more demanding being has entered the household (a tiny human), my plant care duties have fallen by the wayside — or, perhaps more accurately, fallen off a cliff.
Weeks sometimes drift into a month before I have the chance to water them all. At times when I’m drinking a glass of water, I imagine them staring at me in desperation, and all I can do is look away in shame.
Somewhere along the way in trying to cultivate an indoor jungle, I inadvertently created a game of “Survivor” instead. And not all have lived up to the challenge.
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But by nothing short of a miracle, some have. And while I don’t recommend nor advocate for neglecting your plants, hey — sometimes life happens. When it does, these are the plants I’d bank on surviving and, in some cases, even thriving.
1. Swiss cheese plant (monstera): I‘ve seen it declared by some home decor magazines that monsteras are officially “out” as trendy houseplants. What a ridiculous notion. In my mind, plants can never go out of style, especially one as vigorous and beautiful as the monstera. I have, without exaggeration, gone months without watering mine. Again, I wouldn’t recommend doing that, but if you do, she probably won’t hold it against you — my monstera’s leaves barely even droop. This plant is essentially a weed in more tropical climates, so you can expect fast growth with minimal effort.
2. Chinese evergreen (aglaonema): While I haven’t had this plant very long, I’ve already seen its resilience in action. Most freshly rooted and potted plants would wither away without consistently moist soil, but this plant doesn’t seem to mind. It continuously puts out new growth despite its neglectful owner. And while I never paid much attention to this plant before, now that I have one, I’ve come to love the unique patterns on each leaf.
3. Snake plant (sansevieria): This is a classic you’ll find on every hard-to-kill houseplant list, and for a good reason. These low-light succulents can withstand drought, dim light, zombies, a nuclear war — OK, maybe I can’t prove the last two. But I’d find it hard to believe those Iron Throne-like spikes don’t offer at least some form of protection in dire situations.
4. Pothos: This is another classic hard-to-kill houseplant. But how hard is it to kill, you might ask? I’ve put its hardiness to the ultimate test: withstanding frigid winter air. A few years ago, the first winter Aaron and I had lived in our home, we took a trip to Florida and had the genius idea to turn off the heat to save money. I only realized how not-so-genius the idea was when I returned to half of my plants frozen to death (luckily we didn’t endure costlier consequences, like frozen pipes). But amid the dead foliage stood the pothos, alive and well. Give this plant a place to climb and it will take off.
5. Jade: I never realized how lovely and hardy these plants were until my aunt gifted me one a couple of years ago. It grew so quickly that one day, it wound up toppling over and crashing onto the ground, breaking off half its branches. Needless to say, I was devastated. This can spell disaster for many plants, but not the resilient jade. Although her shape is a little wonky now, she’s as healthy as ever. As an added bonus, I discovered that simply placing just one of its plump leaves onto soil can form roots and an entirely new plant — and to me, that’s pure magic.
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This article originally appeared on Akron Beacon Journal: Home With Tess: These five houseplants are almost foolproof
