Hillary Clinton Won't Testify on Benghazi Because She Has A Concussion

Connor Simpson
The Atlantic Wire
Hillary Clinton Won't Testify on Benghazi Because She Has A Concussion

Oh, gosh, the uproar this caused! We learned today that Hillary Clinton took a little tumble this week and she hit her head. Now she can't testify at her Benghazi hearing as scheduled. 

RELATED: How Hillary Clinton Got It Done in Gaza, and Other 'Winners' from the Ceasefire

So, the State Department released a statement Saturday informing the masses that Hillary is at home receiving treatment for a concussion. Everyone went into a real frenzy. There were BREAKINGs and FLASHs. Because it's terrible! Concussions can't happen to Hillary. She should be running around taking adorable pictures with Meryl Streep and not getting concussions. See, our Hil was working through a stomach virus and became dehydrated. If you haven't been dehydrated with a stomach virus before, well, things start to spin very quickly and you get light-headed, and sometimes you fall and bonk your head. Hillary fell and bonked her head. 

RELATED: Clinton Repeats Qaddafi's Oil Minister, Family Have Fled

And that's the story of how Hillary Clinton got a concussion. Doctors say she'll be fine, though. It happened earlier in the week, too. They just didn't tell us until today. That's how insignificant this is. No need for panic. She's going to work from home this week, but she's "looking forward to getting back into the office."

RELATED: Congressional Staffers Behaving Badly; Hefner Demands a Lohan Do-Over

The only trouble is, Clinton was scheduled to testify at the congressional hearings about the Benghazi attacks on Thursday, but now she can't make it according to State Department aides who told the Associated Press. She could maybe testify at a later date? Maybe they'll go on without her. 

RELATED: Meme-Hungry Politicians: Don't Try This at Home

Who knows? The important thing here is: get well soon, Ms. Clinton.