Here's What It Costs To Own All The Pets Your Kid Says They Want
This article originally appeared on Fatherly:
Eventually, your kid is going to demand a pet, because you’ve been training them from the day they were born to think of animals as smaller, fuzzier versions of themselves, who talk and make great companions on awesome adventures. That’s on you. Also on you? All the money it’s going to take to keep said pet thriving so you don’t have to teach your kid about death too soon.
So, before you head to the pet store, you should know what you’re getting your wallet into. The following cost analysis comes courtesy of theAmerican Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) and accounts for upkeep costs alone, not the price of the pet. Which brings up another point: Maybe skip the pet store altogether and rescue the petinstead.
That way, when your kid realizes the dog doesn’t talk (remember, your fault. You’re the one who showed them Up) and loses interest, the dog will still think you’re the best guy ever.
Small Dog
Before you buy a purse dog, turn off the Kardashians for a minute and think about what message that little ankle biter sends your kid. Animals are not accessories, and why are you carrying a purse?
Annual Costs
Food: $55
Recurring Medical: $210
Toys/Treats: $40
License: $15
Health Insurance: $225
Miscellaneous: $35
Annual Total: $580
One-Time Costs
Spay/Neuter: $190
Other initial medical: $70
Collar/Leash: $25
Carrier Bag: $40
Crate: $35
Training Class: $110
First Year Total: $1,050
Life expectancy: 11 Years
Lifetime Total: $6,850
Medium Dog
A wise man said that real dogs weigh no less than 25 pounds, and anything less than that is a cat. His name has been lost to the ages, so now you can tell your kids that you were the wise man. And if they really want a cat, read on …
Annual Costs
Food: $120
Recurring Medical: $235
Toys/Treats: $55
License: $15
Health Insurance: $225
Miscellaneous: $45
Annual Total: $695
One-Time Costs
Spay/Neuter: $200
Other initial medical: $70
Collar/Leash: $30
Carrier Bag: $60
Crate: $95
Training Class: $110
First Year Total: $1,260
Life expectancy: 11 years
Lifetime Total: $8,210
Large Dog
Sure, moving past the 80-pound range with a pet will increase your costs — a Great Dane doesn’t just look like a horse, it eats like one, too. But at this size, you’re getting more than a pet; you’re getting a home security system and an amusement park ride for infants.
Annual Costs
Food: $235
Recurring Medical: $260
Toys/Treats: $75
License: $15
Health Insurance: $225
Miscellaneous: $65
Annual Total: $875
One-Time Costs
Spay/Neuter: $220
Other initial medical: $70
Collar/Leash: $35
Crate: $125
Training Class: $110
First Year Total: $1,435
Life expectancy: 8
Lifetime Total: $7,560
Cat
The ruler of the Internet and conqueror of boxes does not care what you or your kids think of it, which is actually not a bad life lesson for the kids. They’ll have more respect for any real animals they might encounter in the wild some day, and also be more prepared for their first romantic disappointment.
Annual Costs
Food: $115
Recurring Medical: $160
Litter: $165
Toys/Treats: $25
Health Insurance: $175
Miscellaneous: $30
Annual Total: $670
One-Time Costs
Spay/Neuter: $145
Other initial medical: $130
Collar/Leash: $10
Litter Box: $25
Scratching Post: $15
Carrier Bag: $40
First Year Total: $1,035
Life expectancy: 15
Lifetime Total: $10,415
Rabbit
They’re cute, harmless, fuzzy, and delicious. In one of the animal kingdom’s most effective PR campaigns, rabbits have been working their way off our menus and into our hearts for years now. So, don’t expect to get a meal out of it when it croaks.
Food: $190
Recurring Medical: $70
Litter: $415
Toys/Treats: $40
Miscellaneous: $15
Annual Total: $730
Spay/Neuter: $160
Litter Box: $25
Cage: $100
Carrier Bag: $40
First Year Total: $1,055
Life expectancy: 10 years
Lifetime Total: $7,625
Guinea Pig
“Run, eat, sleep, run, eat, sleep, die.” — The Most Interesting Guinea Pig Ever
Annual Costs
Food: $105
Recurring Medical: $70
Litter: $415
Toys/Treats: $30
Miscellaneous: $15
Annual Total: $635
One-Time Costs
Carrier Bag: $70
First Year Total: $705
Life expectancy: 5 years
Lifetime Total: $3,245
Small Bird
Your child will absolutely love having a bird for a pet … if your child is a 75-year-old woman named Beatrice.
Annual Costs
Food: $75
Litter: $85
Toys/Treats: $25
Miscellaneous: $15
Annual Total: $200
One-Time Costs
Cage: $70
First Year Total: $270
Life expectancy: 9.5
Lifetime Total: $1,970
Fish
Sure, a fish has the lowest barrier to pet entry in the whole animal kingdom, but there are some real downsides here: They take up counter space, are surprisingly labor intensive to keep clean, and they just swim in circles all day. Your kid will be so bored, they probably won’t notice when you flush it down the toilet.
Annual Costs
Food: $20
Miscellaneous: $15
Annual Total: $35
One-Time Costs
Aquarium: $200
First Year Total: $235
Life expectancy: 2
Lifetime Total: $270
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