Hampton parents growing desperate as yearbook deadline looms
WARNING: This story contains details about suicide.
When Lexi Daken's former classmates were preparing to graduate last year from Leo Hayes High School in Fredericton, there was absolutely no question that she would be remembered in the school yearbook, said her father Chris Daken.
Daken said there was no discussion or hesitation. It just simply wasn't an issue.
That's why he can't believe what Amy and Greg Hoyt are going through.
Their 15-year-old son died by suicide in Grade 9, four months after Lexi. This would have been his graduating year.
The Hoyts always assumed Carson would be remembered in what would have been his graduation yearbook, but the Anglophone South School District has said no. They said including him may lead to suicide contagion — or others dying by suicide as a result.
Daken said that was never mentioned in Lexi's case and he's grateful that he didn't have to fight the way the Hoyts are having to.
Amy and Greg Hoyt with a school photo of their son, Carson. With the yearbook deadline fast approaching, the Hoyts are feeling more desperate about getting him included. (Roger Cosman/CBC)
"To me, this shouldn't even be a discussion," said Daken.
"It's a fight that shouldn't even have to be a fight."
Since Lexi's death, Daken has seen progress, and more openness about mental health issues.
"It's been three years since Lexi and Carson passed away, and when I look at the changes that have been made — and talking about equality and doing more for mental health — to me, not including his picture because he died by suicide is almost taking two steps back."
David McTimoney, the superintendent of Anglophone West, which includes Leo Hayes High School in Fredericton, declined an interview request for this story.
'A very real concern,' says psychiatrist
Dr. Mark Sinyor, a psychiatrist at Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre in Toronto whose main research focus is on suicide prevention, said "suicide contagion and clustering is a very real concern, particularly in the context of suicide in a young person."
That's why he said it's important for schools "to do everything they can to diminish the risk of suicide in young people."
He also said it's "completely understandable that parents who have lost a child to suicide wish to have a memorial to honour their child."
Sinyor said it's a complicated issue because it's "difficult to predict how any at-risk youth will react to the suicide of a peer, including to memorials."
Time running out
With the yearbook deadline fast approaching, the Hoyts are feeling more desperate about getting Carson included.
"It feels like it's becoming more and more unattainable every day that goes by," said Greg on Thursday. "Every time Amy and I talk, we're feeling more defeated, more and more ready to throw in the towel."
He said the outpouring of community support — and well beyond the community through an online petition — has buoyed their spirits and spurred on their fight.
Lexi Daken would have been part of the class of 2023 at Leo Hayes High School in Fredericton. She died by suicide in 2021 at the age of 16. The 2023 yearbook from Leo Hayes included a full page to remember her. (Submitted by Chris Daken)
"It does keep us going. But it does feel like a desperate situation."
On Wednesday night, the Hoyts attended the regular meeting of the District Education Council. Amy spoke emotionally about Carson and the family's desire to have him included in the yearbook.
After a tearful and sometimes angry speech, none of the council members responded to her, asked any questions or provided any explanation about their silence — a reception the Hoyts described as "cold."
When reached by email on Thursday, the council's chair, Roger Nesbitt, declined an interview. Through email, he called it a "challenging situation" that falls outside of the committee's authority.
"I feel deeply for the parents. The reality is that the matter does fall under the operations side of things. As such, the District Education Council delegates responsibility to the superintendent who is our only employee to make those decisions based upon best practice and research."
The district was asked on Thursday for an update on the situation, but no one responded to an emailed request.
Carson Hoyt was 15 when he died by suicide in 2021. (Submitted by Amy Hoyt)
Although the district declined a memorial page similar to Lexi's, officials did, however, suggest including Carson in a section dedicated to a program called Mental Health Mondays, but the Hoyts declined, saying they don't want him to be remembered as a poster boy for suicide prevention. They were so angry about the suggestion that they forbade the use of Carson's picture for the section.
One week ago, Education Minister Bill Hogan weighed in.
"I am strongly encouraging the Anglophone South School District and officials at Hampton High School to work with the Hoyt family to ensure their son, Carson, is included in the school yearbook," Hogan said in a statement.
Community support
In addition to messages on social media and the nearly 9,700 names on the online petition, the Hoyts are encouraged by the people stopping them to voice support and wearing green to show it.
Greg said some of the comments on the petition have brought them to tears.
"'Overwhelming' doesn't seem like the word. I don't know if there's a stronger word than 'overwhelming,' but it's hard to fathom the support."
He said "it feels like we have an army of unarmed people around us. You know, it's like an army of people that are toothless. That's what it feels like."
If you are in crisis or know someone who is, here is where to get help:
CHIMO hotline: 1-800-667-5005 / www.chimohelpline.ca
Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868, Live Chat counselling at www.kidshelpphone.ca
Canada Suicide Prevention Service: 1-833-456-4566
