Great expectations?

Something bad is about to happen. It has to. Missouri fans just know it.

Perhaps some spoiled wing sauce will find its way onto Martin Rucker's next batch of drummies at Hooters. Chase Daniel might sprain his thumb playing Golden Tee before Saturday's game at Oklahoma. Or, heck, the stripes might grant the Sooners a fifth down. And a sixth and seventh.

Whatever the case, Missouri football fans are waiting for the punch in the stomach. The Tigers are 5-0 and ranked 11th in the country.

Life in Columbia isn't supposed to be this good.

Or at least it hasn't been in a long, long time.

"Missouri fans are a very guarded bunch," said Don Proctor, a lifelong Tigers supporter who lives in Kansas City. "We've had our hearts broken too many times."

Actually, Don, that's an understatement. Missouri doesn't break hearts. The Tigers tear them out of the body, spike them football-style into the pavement and then stomp on them like a Parliament butt.

Take away a league softball championship back in 1997, and Missouri has never – EH-VER – won a Big 12 title. Not one. In anything.

That's why no one would blame you if you rooted for Missouri this weekend. The Tigers don't just deserve a win. They need a win. Seriously, football gods, for the safety of mankind, give Gary Pinkel's squad the strength to emerge victorious. These folks only have so many gaskets left to blow.

No joke, there might not be a more defensive, insecure group of fans than those who follow the Tigers. Funny thing is, no one can blame them. Just think about all the embarrassing moments these souls have had to endure.

The big kahuna, of course, came back in 2003, when former basketball player Ricky Clemons was accused of choking his girlfriend when she didn't want to watch "Roots." Clemons ended up in jail, where his, uh, "friendly" telephone conversations with Carmento Floyd were recorded and obtained by radio stations across the country.

Who is Carmento Floyd, you ask? Only the wife of former MU Systems President Elson Floyd.

Oh, and did we mention that, on a leave of absence from his prison cell, Clemons was injured while riding an ATV at Floyd's house?

Lovely.

Let's see, what else? We could talk about how basketball forward Kalen Grimes was kicked off the team for allegedly beating a man over the head with the butt of a loaded shotgun. Or we could bring up athletic director Mike Alden's decision to send a radio commentator to fire his basketball coach, or the fact that the Paige Sports Arena was named after 22-year-old Wal-Mart heiress Paige Laurie – who got busted at USC for cheating.

But, hey, the gymnasium has since been renamed, so it's all good.

There's plenty more.

UCLA's Tyus Edney scored on a baseline-to-baseline, buzzer-beating layup to keep Missouri out of the Final Four back in 1995. In 1990, the Colorado football squad posted a 33-31 win over the Tigers after referees accidentally awarded the Buffaloes an extra down.

The real doozy, though, came back in 2001-02, when Missouri's basketball team finished sixth in the Big 12 after entering the season ranked No. 2 in the country.

"For awhile it was just one embarrassment after another," Proctor said. "With Missouri there's always doubt and uncertainty. You never know what to expect."

The impressive thing is that, through it all, Mizzou partisans still manage to talk trash when most would expect them to run toward a corner, curl up in a fetal position and cry "Uncle." So far I've only seen that happen once, and I'm not even sure Quin Snyder counts anymore.

Back to that football team.

The Tigers' 5-0 record is nothing to scoff at. Missouri's first win came against Illinois, which has turned out to be pretty salty. Mizzou also topped an Ole Miss team that nearly upset Florida. Even though Nebraska is struggling, last week's 41-6 victory over the Cornhuskers was an impressive feat.

"Part of me thinks this is Missouri's year," lifelong Tiger fan Scott Cruce said. "But the other part of me is like, 'What's it going to be this time? '"

Cruce is quick to point out that Missouri started 6-0 last season before finishing 8-5. It really was a monumental collapse. One week the Tigers were beating Texas Tech in Lubbock, the next they were losing to Iowa State. Yikes.

The trend of unfulfilled expectations continued throughout the school year.

Missouri's wrestling team was ranked No.1 in the country for most of the season but, in the end, it couldn't even win the Big 12. With a homefield advantage, the baseball squad looked to have a clear path to the College World Series. Instead the Tigers didn't make it past the first weekend.

"All of us are conditioned to wait for that other shoe to drop," Cruce said. "But if you’re a true fan you always have your hopes up. You always think things will turn around. The problem is that they haven't – not yet."

Cruce and the rest of Tiger Nation are hoping that happens Saturday. Most fans don't expect Missouri to beat Oklahoma. They just want their beloved Tigers to roll into Norman and give the Sooners a good game.

But what if Missouri did beat Oklahoma?

With quarterback Daniel leading the way and studs such as Rucker and Chase Coffman catching touchdown passes, Missouri would actually be regarded as the class of the Big 12. Imagine that.

So excited are some of Cruce's friends that they're beginning to plan their holidays around a potential BCS bowl game.

"Not me," Cruce said. "Not yet. I'm still taking the wait-and-see approach. By now, I know better."