Tyger: The New York Times May Want to Publish Hillary's Campaign Speech.
My fellow Americans...I am Hillary Rodham Clinton.
I deserve to be the next President of the United States because I am a woman
You know it is MY turn.
I am clearly entitled to this position, so it is your patriotic duty to vote for ME-me-me-me in NOV.
Now LISTEN little people....
Do NOT pay any attention to those despicable Americans who continue to call me a pathological liar.
It's just NOT true.
I've NEVER lied about anything.
I simply do not lie.
Sometimes I misspeak.
Sometimes I misremember.
Sometimes I don't remember at all.
Sometimes I simply short circuit, but I do not lie.
Anyone who accuses me of lying is clearly a liar.
Trust me, I would not lie to you.
And FORGET how I held up for Bill and helped destroy the many horrible women who claimed that he used his powerful position to sexually assault them. All of those women were dirty, rotten, lying whores. Bill never had sexual relations with any of those dirty women. And that sperm on Monica's dress wasn't Bill's. It wasn't !!! That was all simply a vicious right wing conspiracy with an agenda to destroy Bill and I.
And forget about that horrible, deplorable, lying little girl who pretended she was a victim and claimed she was raped by my client.
He passed his lie detector test. The fact that my client passed his lie detector test was a big surprise to me, for sure! haha!
He actually passed his lie detector test!
I've never laughed so hard! Hahaha!!
I want you to IGNORE those crazy accusations about me emailing classified documents through my private email server.
It's not like I was committing an act of espionage against my country.
It's not like I made it possible for anyone or any other country to blackmail me into doing favors for them once I am elected President of the United States.
It's not like I committed obstruction of justice when I had my server emails wiped clean by BleachBit after I was ordered to turn them over for an investigation.
And, never mind those bogus claims that Bill did me any favors when he boarded Loretta Lynch's plane. They really were just shooting the crap about each other's social activities, children and grandchildren.
Really... Just shoooooting the craaaaaaap....
It was not anything inappropriate like.... he threatened to have the crap shot out of anyone if Loretta Lynch didn't back off.
I love my wicked sense of humor. Hahaha!
And, It was all on the up and up that the FBI decided to back away and not pursue charges against me after Bill sullied Loretta Lynch's authority.
Besides, the FBI said they could not prove intent that I knew what I was doing.
Believe me, I NEVER actually know what I am doing!!!
Just ask Colin Powell. He even said in one of those hacked emails that I always screw everything up! AND.... Let me remind you all, that Colin Powell, America's MOST TRUSTED BLACK PERSON, told me I should use a private email server to send classified documents. By the way... those classified documents WERE NOT classified when I ordered them to be declassified so I would not be accused of anything illegal. So, all that email crapolla is all Colin Powell's' fault, not mine.
Colin, how's the view under the bus? Hahaha..
Anyway, thanks for helping me skate away from that worrisome little crisis, Loretta Lynch and James B. Comey. Keep up the good work keeping Bill and I out of the brig. You are now my besties forever.
Oh...and never mind all of those ridiculous claims about how The Clinton Foundation is a money laundering scheme and an illegal pay to play racket. I know that some people may dare say that pay to play is actually BRIBERY and that is ILLEGAL. But you all need to keep in mind that all of that ILLEGAL stuff does not apply to Bill and I. We can do whatever the hell we want. And, anyone who believes Bill and I are getting richer by the minute through the Clinton Foundation are just making up more lies.
And, all of those inconvenient dead bodies that have trailed Bill and I over the years... ignore those too. Believe me, cause I am telling you the truth. All of those many suspicious deaths connected to Bill and I are just unfortunate accidents, suicides and crazy coincidences, even those four-five deaths that just happened a few weeks ago. Really, it's just inconvenient coincidences that happened to very inconvenient people we used to know. I would not lie about something like that.
Just never mind all of the many years of bad baggage in my FBI and Loretta Lynch protected closet. It's there to stay. FOREVER.
You can't touch that, so scroooooooo you all. Hahaha!
Americans, I KNOW some of you whining folks got all peeved off about me labeling 25% of Americans as "a basket of deplorables"
You silly, useless people. Don't you get it?
The truth is, I actually hate you all, but forget about that.
Oh... And that 911 issue with me "fainting".
Listen, it was 10,0000 degrees outside that day.
Huma didn't bring me enough water. I just got dehydrated, that's all.
Well okay, I really had pneumonia, but you didn't need to know about that until I was forced to tell you. And, to those liars who say I have Parkinson's, you just never mind about that. You know all you need to know about that.
Remember this when you go to the polls on November 8th...
I deserve to be the next President of the United States because I am a woman.
You know it is MY turn.
I am ENTITLED to be the next President of the United States because I am Hillary Clinton.
Hillary Corrupt Clinton 2016
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