The GOP gives America a debate, an impeachment hearing and a government shutdown. Oh my.

Get a load of what the week ahead looks like for the Republican Party:

First, a floundering group of Republican presidential primary candidates, none polling higher than 14%, will attend a debate at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Southern California. Absent from Wednesday's debate will be the guy who’s beating the tuna salad out of them all, a one-term, twice-impeached former president facing 91 state and federal felony counts ranging from falsifying business records to conspiracy to defraud the U.S. government.

That criminal defendant, Donald Trump, rather than debating a pack of also-rans, will be in Detroit meeting with striking United Auto Workers union members and, one assumes, pretending he’s pro-union when his actions in office were anything but. He loaded the National Labor Relations Board with anti-union people, leading to restrictions on workers’ rights to organize on employer property and making it easier for companies to get rid of unions.

UAW President Shawn Fain responded to news of Trump's visit by saying: "Every fiber of our union is being poured into fighting the billionaire class and an economy that enriches people like Donald Trump at the expense of workers."

So that should be a day of spectacular dumbness.

Republican debate followed by unhinged impeachment hearing

On Thursday, House Republicans will ignore a looming government shutdown and hold their first impeachment inquiry hearing against President Joe Biden. They want to impeach the president for … things? Nobody is quite sure because, despite months of investigations, Republican lawmakers have failed to show the American people a single piece of evidence that would suggest Biden is impeachment-worthy. His son, Hunter Biden, might be impeachment-worthy, but, inconveniently, he’s not president.

Conspiracy world: GOP's Hunter Biden hysteria makes even less sense after plea deal gets put on hold

The hearing will be a big tent shy of a circus, and one can expect the post-hearing blabbering from VCRs (very concerned Republicans) to include Olympic-size leaps to conclusions and enough random-dot connecting to wipe out a phalanx of fact-checkers.

Don’t worry, things will get dumber yet.

Government shutdown isn't inevitable. It's a choice – a dumb one.

An evidence-free Biden impeachment hearing is a great lead-in to a government shutdown

The deadline for Congress to pass a government funding bill is Saturday night, and Republican lawmakers in the House are preoccupied with infighting led by hardcore MAGA folks eager to watch the world burn.

With little progress made over the weekend, there’s a good chance Republicans will stubborn their way to a government shutdown by week’s end.

GOP actually work? House Republicans as government shutdown nears: Nobody told us we'd have to govern

Cheering for that conclusion, of course, is Trump, who wants to take a principled stand on fiscal responsibility.

HAH! I made that last part up. Trump wouldn’t know a principle if it paddled him with a rolled up Forbes magazine. He wants the government to shut down because he thinks – incorrectly – it would halt the various legal cases he’s facing.

You know, the legal cases all his presidential primary opponents refuse to highlight as the key reasons he should not be the GOP's nominee?

An impossible amount of GOP nuttiness deserves a proper recap

Collectively, that is a veritable tsunami of stupidity so overwhelming it deserves a recap:

A bunch of GOP presidential candidates who have no shot at the nomination because they only timidly criticize Trump out of fear of alienating his supporters will babble onstage at a library named after one of the Republican Party’s most-revered figures, Reagan, a man who would undoubtedly loathe most of them and would be particularly disgusted by Trump himself.

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While they’re doing that, Trump will lie to a select group of supportive autoworkers who somehow see a rich lifetime con artist eyeball deep in legal trouble as a sensible choice for commander in chief.

Lock him up! Lock him up!

The next day, Trump’s lackeys in Congress will embarrass themselves by spewing a vivid collection of conspiracy theories and innuendos that allege Biden is both a global criminal mastermind and a doddering old fool who should be hauled off to Guantanamo while we wait on evidence to prove whatever it is this collection of right-wing sycophants are alleging.

And then, almost certainly, House Speaker Kevin McCarthy and his out-of-control caucus will find a way to marry their dislike for governing with their inestimable skill at doing exactly the wrong thing and cause a wholly avoidable government shutdown.

While all this is happening, most Americans will be living their lives and worrying about things that matter, like jobs and health care and education and the cost of food and whatnot.

Democrats have actually been doing things to address those concerns, from the Inflation Reduction Act to Biden’s infrastructure bill, and while Republicans are having their week of living ludicrously, Biden – an actual pro-union president – will meet striking workers on the picket line.

After this week, ask yourself which party is actually up for governing

So a reasonable question to ask as this week unfolds is: Which side is making sense here? Which side has at least one foot, or maybe even both, in reality, and which side is flailing nonsensically in service to a loudmouth whose only concern is himself?

We’ll see. Maybe the Republicans will surprise us.

HAH! I made that last part up as well. This week will be shambolic. And for anyone paying attention, that should matter.

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on X, formerly Twitter, @RexHuppke and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Debate sans Trump, a shutdown and impeachment probe? Bad week for GOP