How to be a good party guest this holiday season, from a bartender who's seen it all
After bartending private home parties for the past 30 years, I’ve seen it all.
One thing I see the most is some people don’t know how to be considerate and appreciate their hosts. Most people are terrific at party guest etiquette, but for the few that aren’t, here’s some advice for being a great guest:
First of all, please RSVP to your host, and within a reasonable amount of time so that they can properly prepare for your comfort with food and beverages. If you have guests visiting you at the time of the party taking place, don’t assume you can bring them with you. Explain to your host as to why you can’t attend and If they want you to bring along your guests, they’ll let you know.
Don’t show up early to a cocktail party. Your host is prepared to receive guests at a specified time or soon after, but not before the start time of their party.
To come early usually finds something unprepared, and it makes everyone a little uncomfortable, not to mention making you look desperate to get to the bar. It also disrupts the time needed to complete the tasks to be ready on time, all while they fuss over trying to make you comfortable before the rest of the guests arrive.
Don’t pop in the last half hour of a party, either. It’s not polite, and extending the party time for your benefit isn’t fair to those that arrived within the times set forth for the party. Your hosts feel that they were an afterthought, and that feels insulting.
Don’t show up with your hands in your pocket waiting to receive all that is offered for yourself. Bring a nice little something for the host(s).
A bottle of wine or booze, a box of candy or a candle make a great gift and shows your appreciation for all their hard work. Throwing a party isn’t cheap. There’s preparations to be made. Food and beverage purchases and hiring of staff adds up. Having you attend is your host's gift to you. A gift for them is only fair and thoughtful.
Don’t overindulge. Have a drink or two. Enjoy the food, but don’t make a pig of yourself. The party is for enjoying the company around you, too.
If you’re not a crowd lover, maybe consider passing on the invitation. Some people don’t enjoy parties and only attend out of guilt. It’s not fun if you’re not having fun. Parties aren’t for everyone, and drinking yourself to comfort is dangerous and not necessary just to get you through the night.
Finally, don’t overstay your welcome. Stay a few hours and then thank your host and take your leave. All that preparation catches up to your host, and they put an end time on their invitation for a reason.
Holiday parties can be lots of fun. Have a safe and wonderful holiday season and remember: Don’t drink and drive.
Ken Muraco lives in Cathedral City. Email him at muraco@dc.rr.com.
This article originally appeared on Palm Springs Desert Sun: A Coachella Valley bartender on how to be a good holiday party guest
