A Good Age: Married 74 years, Pat and Veronica Pastuszak craft independence at home in Abington

ABINGTON − It seems an extraordinary, if ordinary, scene.

A married couple sit together on the sofa, happily spending the day together, each in their own way.

Amelian "Pat" Pastuszak is 102. His wife, Veronica, is 99. Each had a birthday in early January and they keep rolling along through their eighth decade together with determined independence and cheerful resolve.

Married for 74 years, Veronica Pastuszak, 99, and Amelian "Pat" Pastuszak, 102, live independently in Abington in the house Pat built in 1951.
Married for 74 years, Veronica Pastuszak, 99, and Amelian "Pat" Pastuszak, 102, live independently in Abington in the house Pat built in 1951.

"We just take one day at a time," Pat says. "We only go out to shop once or twice a week."

He drives his Honda Pilot to a nearby Stop & Shop or Trucchi's supermarket, where Veronica uses a grocery cart "like a walker. Once I grab hold of that, I can go all around," she says.

They spend most of their time in a small den at the back of the house Pat built in 1951. He had just graduated from a building construction program at Wentworth Institute in Boston. The den has a TV, a computer, a table and three comfortable chairs.

"He is always either on the computer, watching TV or reading a book, sometimes all at once," Veronica says with fondness. Her longstanding domain, the kitchen, is a few steps away. She continues to prepare simple meals like spaghetti and "do my chores," including doing their laundry in a converted breezeway.

Another new year is underway, and as many people make resolutions to change, the Pastuszaks feel very fortunate to continue just as they are.

Married for 74 years, Veronica Pastuszak, 99,  and Amelian Pat Pastuszak, 102, live independently in Abington in the house Pat built in 1951. Thursday January 12, 2023.
Married for 74 years, Veronica Pastuszak, 99, and Amelian Pat Pastuszak, 102, live independently in Abington in the house Pat built in 1951. Thursday January 12, 2023.

"I never took anything too really seriously in life," Pat says when asked how they manage. "You have to always be looking forward to something and then it's not bad. Everyone has their ups and downs, and you have to learn to put up with each other. We don't have any real problems in life. We take it day by day; that's all you can do."

At his age, he adds, "looking forward" and "thinking ahead" means "tomorrow, the next day."

"It is amazing how his interests have morphed into each decade as it comes," Joan Crosby Pastuszak, who is married to Pat's son, John, says. "He always has found something new to replace something he no longer did. It's hard to get him to stop doing things, but that determination is probably what keeps him going."

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A long and happy life for Pat and Veronica Pastuszak

The couple met shortly before Pat enlisted in the Marine Corps in 1942. A friend arranged a blind date with Veronica Chadwick, of Rockland; he found her "very good looking." He served for three years during World War II in Western Samoa and the Russell Islands, and after he returned home in 1945, they dated for 2½ years.

One day, he said, "Come on, let's go get a ring in Boston. We'll buy a diamond."

The Pastuszaks' wedding picture from 1948.
The Pastuszaks' wedding picture from 1948.

They were married in 1948 at Holy Family Church in Rockland soon after he graduated from Wentworth.

After 74 years, they appear to have forged a comfortable accommodation. She listens as he talks, adding details, not shy about stating her point of view, getting up to find an old photograph. A carpenter, he said he was "always pretty busy. I always seemed to have two jobs." Veronica worked for 15 years in area shoe factories.

After 20 years in the carpentry trades, in 1968 Pat became a teacher at Southeastern Regional Vocational School in Easton and retired in 1983.

Pat Pastuszak in 2021 at age 100 wears his World War II Marine uniform. He is with state Rep. Alyson Sullivan at a veterans appreciation celebration.
Pat Pastuszak in 2021 at age 100 wears his World War II Marine uniform. He is with state Rep. Alyson Sullivan at a veterans appreciation celebration.

In 1958, he started the Abington Midget Football League with Eddie Murphy and coaches from Whitman and Rockland. His assistant was Jack Reilly.

"Skinny (Pat's nickname) was my Midget League football coach when I was 12 and 13," Ed Fopiano, of Middleboro, recalled. "He lived next door to the park where we had our practices. His son, John, was our quarterback.  I remember I had a lot of fun."

"Skinny was one of the pioneers of youth sports in my community," Fopiano said. "I was lucky to have so many dedicated youth coaches growing up. His brother, Walter, was my high school football coach and he was another great guy. I’m glad they are both well in their old age."

John Pastuszak tells friends he doesn't know anybody quite like his father, who has always had so many interests: he was a carpenter, a teacher, a woodworker, played golf, served on the town housing authority and, in retirement, sold cutting boards he made in a workshop he built next to his house.

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When computers arrived, he took a course at Massasoit Community College to learn how to use them.

"When he has a problem," Veronica says, "we just call our son and he can fix everything over the phone."

John and Joan, longtime Hingham residents, now live in Mashpee.

Aging together with grace

Martin's Restaurant on North Avenue is a favorite destination. Pat enjoys the monthly veterans' breakfast there and weekly Thursday breakfasts with friends, including his younger brother, Walter, 100, a World War II Army veteran who comes over from Plymouth. Twice a week, Pat plays cards at the senior centers in Abington and Rockland.

Veronica Chadwick, of Rockland, and Amelian "Pat" Pastuszak, of Abington, on their wedding day in 1948.
Veronica Chadwick, of Rockland, and Amelian "Pat" Pastuszak, of Abington, on their wedding day in 1948.

As the years have passed, so have their peers.

"All our friends are gone," Veronica says. "He's got a lot of new friends and I call them 'the kids.'"

"It's hard to believe I'm associated with people who could be my kids," Pat says. "If I did not have them, I wouldn't have anybody. They treat me very well."

His Marine Corps uniform hangs in his closet. Abington's veterans agent, Adam Gunn, recalls how Pastuszak came to him last year, saying he needed "someone to do my lawn."

"You mean you're 101 and have been cutting your own grass until now?" a surprised Gunn asked.

Chris Schultz, the town health agent and a Scoutmaster, found a Brockton High School student willing to mow the lawn for free.

"That's not how I do things," Pastuszak said. He has paid the Scout since he started.

Amelian "Pat" Pastuszak, second from left, and his brother Walter with their parents, Max and Mary, circa 1923.
Amelian "Pat" Pastuszak, second from left, and his brother Walter with their parents, Max and Mary, circa 1923.

This fall, Pastuszak was back with another request: someone to clear his driveway and walkway with his snowblower. He doesn't want to have it plowed.

"He's the oldest living veteran in Abington and he's become like family," Gunn said. "He's very active and he's very well known. Abington looks out after its veterans and has a support system for them."

The Pastuszaks are especially energized by their two granddaughters, Danielle Pastuszak, of Cambridge, and Lauren Stevens, of Connecticut, and great-grandson Cole Michael Stevens, born Oct. 23, 2021.

Left to right, Walter Pastor, age 100; Pat, 102, and Veronica, 99, Pastuszak; their granddaughters, Lauren Stevens and Danielle Pastuszak; and their great-grandson Cole Stevens.
Left to right, Walter Pastor, age 100; Pat, 102, and Veronica, 99, Pastuszak; their granddaughters, Lauren Stevens and Danielle Pastuszak; and their great-grandson Cole Stevens.

"We are so lucky to have our grandparents in our lives," Lauren Stevens said. "When my sister and I were little and visited, they always had one of those grocery store kickballs for us to play with. This gave us hours of outdoor fun! Now, our son Cole can walk and, sure enough, my grandmother had one waiting. At 99 and 102, they are still participating, kicking back and forth to Cole in the living room."

Age has no limitations in the eyes of a toddler.

"Witnessing that brings me such happiness," Stevens said.

Travels with Norma

Norma Morgan, an extensive world traveler to parts of the world less traveled, and Norwell Spotlight TV have created a video of her travels. Norma will be presenting it with additional items from her adventures at 1:30 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 19, at the Norwell Senior Center. Call to sign up at 781-659-7878.

Reach Sue Scheible at sscheible@patriotledger.com.

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This article originally appeared on The Patriot Ledger: Abington's Pat and Veronica Pastuszak celebrate 74 years of marriage