FWISD has new abstinence-based sex ed. Parents should be teaching their kids, too | Opinion

Let’s talk about sex. (I had to.)

Sex is an increasingly important — but complicated — topic among adolescents and teens. Studies show that in recent years, teens have been having less sex than they were three decades ago, when almost half reported having sex, but other kinds of sexual activity, including conversations like sexting, have grown and evolved.

The Fort Worth Independent School District just decided to implement an abstinence-based sex education curriculum following heated debate about what a sex education curriculum should include. They picked “Choosing the Best,” a curriculum that aligns with state law and emphasizes a more traditional view of sex, suggesting that students abstain until they’re married to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease. By comparison, in California, schools teach comprehensive sex education that presumes kids will have sex and suggest how to have it safely, using contraception and condoms to prevent pregnancy and infections.

“Choosing the Best” will replace “HealthSmart,” which some parents criticized because it included teaching about topics such as sexual orientation and gender identity. In several sessions, the new curriculum teaches young people about teen pregnancy and STD risks and avoiding unhealthy relationships. For middle schoolers, it emphasizes “the risks of sexual activity while also emphasizing the positive benefits of sexual delay.” In high school, kids learn about “the negative emotional effects of casual sex and how sexual delay provides freedom: freedom from physical and emotional risks and the freedom to pursue dreams and personal goals.”

This sounds not only fairly comprehensive, but also wise.

The American Academy of Pediatrics argues that “while abstinence is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy and STIs, research has conclusively shown that abstinence-only sex education programs do not support healthy sexual development in youth.” This is kind of like saying that being sober is the best way not to become an alcoholic but that teaching sobriety as a means of preventing alcoholism doesn’t teach people how to drink responsibly.

Even still, it’s actually surprising that choosing this curriculum would be controversial. It’s painfully obvious that abstaining from sex is the only sure way not to worry about not getting pregnant — or contracting an STI that could have a range of mild to dire consequences. The difficulty is that it takes discipline and willpower and we live in a world of excess, not moderation, and certainly not abstinence. Teaching today’s youth to reign in their desires and passions seems like a valuable tool for any part of life, including sex.

It’s understandable why public schools choose to teach kids about sex and their bodies. It is a part of life and in fact, one where one choice can dramatically alter a person’s life trajectory, especially for girls. There are probably also kids who will only ever hear about sex from their teachers.

But the importance of sex is also why sex education shouldn’t just be left up to schools. Perhaps if schools knew parents were more involved in discussing this topic with their kids, there wouldn’t be such controversy about what to teach and why.

The best place for kids to hear about sex, however awkward, is from the people who love them the most and have the most to gain from their child making good choices. Parents should teach their kids, at appropriate ages and maturity, about their bodies — including what’s OK and what’s not — and the fact that sex is not merely a physical investment but an emotional one, which is often why young people have found casual sex so harmful.

Next to parents, peers are probably the most powerful influence on a teen’s burgeoning sexuality. This is also why it’s important to teach kids to “surround yourself with people who want the best for you,” as the psychologist and best-selling author of “Twelve Rules for Life” Jordan Peterson says, and to encourage them to stand up for their beliefs and values, even if they feel pressure to act otherwise. Of course, if parents want their kids to know about contraception, gender identity issues, or anything else, they can teach it.

Teaching kids about sex in schools, or to just abstain from it, is smart and wise — but it shouldn’t be the first or last time kids hear about it. They should hear it early, at age-appropriate seasons and often, in a safe environment from parents who love them.

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