The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
Mondays are hard. Mondays with kids are some type of human survival experiment.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) November 13, 2017
I enjoy doing nice things for my kids, and my kids enjoy making me regret my decisions.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) November 11, 2017
That awkward moment when your child looks to you for wisdom and you're like, "Honey, I don't even know what day of the week it is."
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) November 14, 2017
Amazing how quickly our morning shifts from "We have plenty of time" to "Just put your eggs in your pocket and bring a fork, MOVE! LET'S GO!"
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 16, 2017
The only parenting advice I can give is to have a strong wifi connection so you can Google all the shit you don't know.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) November 12, 2017
I love that cute married thing we do where we both sign our kids up for soccer & then both try to avoid being the one that stands out in the cold to watch.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 11, 2017
I changed the subject with freshly made baked goods, like a professional Mom.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) November 12, 2017
My daughter's always looking out for daddy.
On my way to the bathroom, she reminded me not to pee in my panties.— La Guardia Cross (@LaGuardiaCross) November 14, 2017
Stranger Things is the perfect analogy for parenthood: there's always a fresh hell to face and no one gets any sleep.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) November 16, 2017
Being a mom is mostly just wiping things and making sure you have enough things to wipe with.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) November 14, 2017
My new favorite tv show is any show that holds my toddler’s attention long enough for me to poop.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 17, 2017
I don't know what you're all complaining about. I just convinced my daughter it was bedtime at 4pm because the sun was going down.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) November 10, 2017
Overheard:
7: it's getting harder to get them to say yes to giving us Halloween candy.
5: it's mommy. You can't ask her, you know that.
7: so daddy.
5: yes, daddy.— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) November 10, 2017
Family vacations are great if you want to know what it feels like to count down the hours until bedtime in a different city.
— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) November 11, 2017
When you see my kids’ beaming smiles in their holiday picture this year, please appreciate how many poop jokes I had to tell to get them.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 12, 2017
Writing a love poem called “We Made Beautiful Children, But Now They Own Us.”
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) November 16, 2017
When I die, just bury me beneath a pile of little boys' mismatched socks and unfolded laundry and no one will even notice a difference.
— Myrrh (@ixix82) November 16, 2017
Just overheard my 11yo son on the phone with his friend, "Don't worry, I will bring some of my dad's money."
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 11, 2017
I want another baby. From 10-10:45am only no Mondays, weekends, or poops.
— Honest Toddler’s Mom (@HonestToddler) November 15, 2017
"You're a HORRIBLE parent!"
- my daughter because I won't let her use a chainsaw to make a treehouse.— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) November 15, 2017
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This article originally appeared on HuffPost.