The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 280-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
If a parent tells you they don't have a favorite they're lying. Coffee is their favorite.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) November 28, 2017
According to my kids' Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) November 27, 2017
Parenting sounds fun in theory. Then lice.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) November 30, 2017
I haven’t even started cooking & my kids have already asked for “something other than what you’re making” for dinner.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) November 27, 2017
Most of parenthood is basically just walking from room to room whispering "WTF?" to yourself.
— Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) November 29, 2017
I love my kids more than life itself, and also please for the love of God say it's their bedtime.
— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) November 27, 2017
*gets ‘Laundry Life’ tattooed across post baby belly.
— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) November 20, 2017
Me: I’m going to get a haircut.
4yo: But why? Your hair already looks so pretty!
8yo: Yeah, don’t cut it!
[Both glance over at Elf on the Shelf]— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 25, 2017
ME [before kids]: nobody wants to see your family christmas photo shoot
ME [as a dad]: get those matching jammies ready, my facebook cover photo is gonna be lit— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) November 29, 2017
Welcome to parenthood. You wake up sore for no reason now.
— Ramblin' Mama (@ramblinma) November 29, 2017
Friend: *looking through my toddler's overnight bag*
There's no blanket or stuffed animal or bedtime book?
Me: Nah, he's pretty chill. It doesn't matter what you do, he's not going to sleep.— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) November 29, 2017
*rage moves the elf
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) November 30, 2017
Receptionist at pediatrician’s office: Child’s birth date and year?
Me, mother of 3: Wow ok I didn’t know there was going to be maths *nervous laughter* let’s see he’s four, it was late April or May, rainy I think, he’s a classic Gemini if that helps, this isn’t in his file?— Honest Toddler’s Mom (@HonestToddler) December 1, 2017
A good way to prepare your kids for life's disappointments is to allow them to put 47 things on their Christmas list.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) November 29, 2017
Just lit a candle on a holiday wreath. Our three year old responded by singing "Happy Birthday."
— dadpression (@Dadpression) November 29, 2017
Parenting tip: Make sure you buy your toddler a watch so that you can get updates on the time exactly every two minutes.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) December 1, 2017
I’ve been going, “SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” non-stop since 2005.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) November 30, 2017
Really, there's no need to ever take your kids anywhere fun because they can just sit and complain at home for a lot less money.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) November 30, 2017
The most challenging part of Christmas is staying up later than my kids to put the presents out.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) November 30, 2017
1985 Parent: punishes child by making them stay inside instead of playing outdoors.
2017 Parent: punishes child by making them go outside with no wifi.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 25, 2017
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This article originally appeared on HuffPost.