The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 280-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
I didn’t realize 80% of song lyrics were inappropriate until I had to listen to them in the car with my kids.
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) June 8, 2018
4-year-old: *poking my mustache* Did you get your mustache when you became a dad?
Me: Yeah. It was part of my starter package.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 11, 2018
eventually i will be my son's mother, but currently i am just a 24hr breastaurant
— rachel axler (@rachelaxler) June 11, 2018
I’ve put kazoos in goodie bags, don’t talk to me about regret.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 12, 2018
Loudly, in line at the ice cream shop:
👦🏼 why is everybody else here?
👩🏻 Same reason as you, they’re getting ice cream!
👦🏼 because they all pooped on the potty too??— Dave Learns Dadding (@DaveLearnsToDad) June 13, 2018
Top 5 best things about the beach:
1. Sight of the waves
2. Smell of the salt air
3. Feel of the sand in your toes
4. Taste of a cold drink
5. Sound of another mom yelling “I JUST WANT TO RELAX FOR 5 MINUTES” when you’re there without kids.— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 10, 2018
Really enjoying the fact that my four year old refers to all cacti as "sharpies".
— dadpression (@Dadpression) June 10, 2018
Welcome to summertime parenting: YOUR KIDS WANT SNACKS AGAIN.
— ☕️MacgyveringMom22🍷 (@MacgyveringM22) June 10, 2018
I say “it’s time for bed.”
My kid hears “time to discuss our family disaster preparedness plan for every crisis imaginable.”— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) June 11, 2018
[Summer Break 11:25 AM]
7 year old: DO YOU WANT DINO NUGGETS FOR LUNCH?
12 year old: I just woke up and had breakfast but yes.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 11, 2018
"Apologize for yelling at your mother. We don't yell at her, she yells at us."
-my husband, clearly the only person who understands the rules around here— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) June 8, 2018
My toddler wants “pink eggs” for breakfast & I have no idea what that is, but I know it’s going to be all downhill from here.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) June 9, 2018
I'm not comfortable with how much power my kids have when I run out of toilet paper.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) June 13, 2018
today my eight-year-old son said ‘what if the tooth fairy was real and she was collecting the teeth to build an army of teeth-people’
— Saladin Ahmed (@saladinahmed) June 10, 2018
My children are good at a lot of things, but they’re best at reminding me I couldn’t handle one more child.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 15, 2018
* dads laughing and giggling as they pillow fight each other with bags of potting soil at Home Depot *
— J (@Dis0beyJay) June 11, 2018
Me, to kids: “Stop playing with your food!”
Also Me: so excited after buying a bag of Bugles so I can wear them on my fingers like claws.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) June 13, 2018
Good morning. My kids are fighting for the same seat on the couch. Which is an extra large sectional.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) June 14, 2018
My 3-year-old has figured out how to be super annoying without actually misbehaving. How quickly the student becomes the teacher.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 15, 2018
I took the kids to Ikea and we learned the Swedish word for Family Time: Førfücksakė.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) June 11, 2018
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This article originally appeared on HuffPost.