The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
One of my favorite moments with my children is when I hold them close, look at them with loving eyes, and say "I told you so."
— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) September 17, 2017
3yo:*staring at pile of literally hundreds of toy cars*
Oh no, I'm missing one!— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) September 18, 2017
Nothing screams "I'm a mom" like showing up at work, forgetting I have a Batman bandaid on the back of my leg.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) September 18, 2017
Sorry I used packing tape to wrap your kid's birthday present.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) September 20, 2017
Toys R Us declared bankruptcy, which is ironic considering that it's been responsible for the near-bankruptcy of parents everywhere.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) September 19, 2017
After a long day with the kids, Kiddo decides to cap it off with a song she made up on her recorder...
Thanks? pic.twitter.com/VMvM9v5CS3— Jacques Nyemb (@jnyemb) September 17, 2017
If you think a celebrity choosing a dress for the Emmys is challenging, you should check out my kids picking out pajamas.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) September 18, 2017
A bra? At school drop off? What are you, some sort of celebrity?
— Anna Grace (@graceful_asfuck) September 21, 2017
My son told me he didn't need to take a lunch to school today & I feel like I just won the Mom Lottery.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) September 19, 2017
Saying "that's disgusting" is probably the highest compliment you can pay to a little kid.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) September 21, 2017
You think you have your sh*t together and then your 5-year-old comes home and accuses you of doing her homework all wrong.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) September 19, 2017
favorite thing about 9yo: close call between her intrinsic kindness & fact that she believes if she sings in the bathroom you can't hear her
— Nicole Chung (@nicole_soojung) September 21, 2017
People who say don’t sweat the small stuff have never tried to pick up a thousand goldfish crumbs from between the couch cushions.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) September 19, 2017
I've got fundraiser stuff for school if anyone wants to spend $300 so my child to get a $1 bracelet.
— heather lou* (@heatherlou_) September 20, 2017
Welcome to parenthood. You now go to the grocery store every day. Every. Single. Day.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) September 20, 2017
Me: How do you want your steak cooked?
Kids: Cook it so it tastes like chicken nuggets.— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) September 18, 2017
These fruit snacks are made with 10% real fruit juice, so I gave my kid 10 packets and now he's got his fruit serving in for the day.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 21, 2017
My kids are "if i don't know they're next to me and I turn around really fast I elbow them in the eye" feet tall.
— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) September 19, 2017
Me: What's wrong?
7-year-old: *setting down her backpack* School followed me home.— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) September 19, 2017
Me: I missed you when we were gone.
5: I missed you too.
Me: I missed our talks.
5: I missed you reaching cookies from the top shelf.— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) September 18, 2017
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This article originally appeared on HuffPost.