Force behind Soldiers Field Veterans Memorial, Wayne Stillman, never wanted the glory

May 17—ROCHESTER — Wayne Stillman wouldn't have wanted an article written about him and his life.

The glory, he often said, according to his friends, belonged to the veterans. And to God.

Stillman, a longtime advocate for veterans in Rochester, died Wednesday, May 15, 2024, at the age of 86.

"Wayne was a very humble person," said longtime friend Terry Throndson, who worked with Stillman to get the veterans memorial at Soldiers Field Park built, and has helped organize events at the site for many years to come. "He wanted no recognition for what he'd done."

Instead, Throndson said, Stillman would say it was the veterans who deserved the credit for making the memorial, which was dedicated in 2000, happen.

The veterans, and God.

Throndson recalled how Stillman had been diagnosed with cancer shortly after he began working on the memorial in 1995. Throndson said his friend went to a church and prayed that he could just live long enough to complete the memorial.

"The memorial was the inspiration that kept him alive, I guess, until yesterday," said Olmsted County Commissioner and former Minnesota Sen. Dave Senjem.

Senjem said he was saddened to hear of the passing of his friend, the only other remaining charter member of the Soldiers Field Veteran Memorial Committee.

Senjem recalled how when Stillman was ill, the committee would hold meetings at the typewriter and office supply business Stillman owned in downtown Rochester.

"In the late '90s, Wayne was so sick with his cancer, we'd meet down there," Senjem said. "There was a period of time he couldn't come to work but he'd come to the meetings."

Throndson added that when Stillman's wife, Carol, would arrive with Wayne in the car, some of the committee members would come out and pick Wayne up and carry him into the office, setting him down in a chair so he could run the meeting.

That never-quit attitude was still alive in Stillman to the end, Throndson said.

Stillman had told Throndson to take over the planning of Veterans Day events at the memorial because Stillman's health was taking its toll, but even after handing off responsibility, Stillman kept working for veterans.

"He'd call me every other day to check up. I said, 'I thought you were done,'" Throndson said.

The last time they saw one another, Throndson said the men had tears in their eyes. But Stillman let his friend know he was "ready for God to take him home."

That, Throndson said, was when he knew the end was imminent.

But Throndson said he preferred to remember a man who was determined in all things, but especially when it came to showing support for veterans.

Senjem said the idea for the memorial — a centerpiece of art and remembrance on the north end of Soldiers Field Park in Rochester — came as a result of something that started in the 1960s.

Senjem said he first met Stillman in the Jaycees in the 1960s. At that time, there was significant backlash against the war in Vietnam. And Stillman was one of those Jaycees putting together care packages to be sent in 1966 to American servicemembers in Southeast Asia, particularly members of the 173rd Airborne Brigade, which had been "adopted" by the Rochester Jaycees.

In 1995, nearly 30 years after those care packages had made their way around the globe, a commemoration was held in Rochester. Hundreds of members of the 173rd Airborne showed up to thank those in Rochester who had shown them support decades before.

It was then, Senjem said, that he, Stillman and a few others came up with an idea for the memorial.

At first, the idea was to create a memorial to the 173rd Airborne, but eventually, that morphed into a memorial honoring all veterans, particularly those who had lost their lives in service.

The memorial wall holds about 2,700 names in wars ranging from the Civil War to those in modern times, Senjem said.

"We never knew we'd use the backside of the wall," Senjem said. "We did a lot of research, finding people within 50 miles of Rochester."

Senjem talked about how the memorial — originally estimated to cost about $600,000, but coming in at five times that amount — often seemed like an insurmountable goal. Not that the hurdles that arose ever slowed Stillman down.

Throndson recalled a day in 1996 or 1997 during Rochesterfest when he sat with Stillman who was selling the pavers that would largely fund the project.

"He got a lot of negative response," Throndson said.

But Stillman, a natural salesman, had a way of working with people, making them feel like an important part of the project. He got construction professionals to donate their labor and equipment. Donations from places like Mayo Clinic helped provide the seed money to get started. And eventually, the public — doubtful at first — saw the momentum of the project and started buying those pavers.

Senjem said the timeframe — from a vague idea in 1995 to a completed project in 2000 — was astonishingly fast for a project of this type.

Throndson said one of the most amazing aspects of the build was watching how the project impacted the nonviolent offenders from Sentence to Serve who helped with construction.

"When they first started coming to help, they were escorted and watched," Throndson said. "After a few weeks, they just came by themselves. That memorial changed them. Being down there, working with veterans, it changed their lives."

But with the memorial built, Stillman wasn't happy to just have it sit there. He arranged for celebrations honoring veterans. One, just a couple of years after the memorial was completed, drew 5,000 attendees.

And, it wasn't just gatherings of veterans and brass bands.

The committee helped raise funds for Honor Flights to take World War II veterans to Washington, D.C., to visit veterans' memorials, and for welcome home celebrations for returning service members.

The first Honor Flight cost $68,000 and needed a $20,000 deposit. Stillman organized volunteers to go to VFW and American Legion posts, and even to go into non-veteran bars asking for donations, Throndson said. Even an ice cream social was held. Eventually, a donor stepped forward who pledged to match all donations dollar for dollar.

"That's how we got the first Honor Flight off the ground," he said. "We were the go-to organization to make sure they got paid."

From 2007 to 2010, the 10 Honor Flights carried 1,032 veterans to D.C., with original plans just to take those veterans within a 50-mile radius of Rochester, but eventually welcoming veterans from as far away as Mankato and northern Iowa.

Eventually, the area around Rochester ran out of WWII veterans to honor. But the project had raised enough money that it had $100,000 left over, which was donated to other Honor Flight organizations.

Throndson said they even raised $10,000 just to buy wheelchairs to push some older veterans around Washington.

On Saturday, May 11, Throndson and others honored Stillman for his life's work with a celebration at the Soldiers Field Veterans Memorial.

Stillman, both Throndson and Senjem said, was against it.

"Wayne didn't want that. He said he'd been thanked enough," Throndson said. "He was on me about not doing it. But I felt like I had to do it."

With his health failing, Stillman was unable to attend.

But, Throndson said, Carol told him he'd seen the video of the celebration and been glad to see it.

"One of the last conversations we had, he asked me to take care of the memorial," Throndson said. "Right to the end, he cared."

Throndson said the committee is not done honoring Stillman. A special bench near the memorial is planned. It will carry both Wayne and Carol's names. And they are working to have the road near the memorial renamed in Wayne Stillman's honor.

"His was a life well lived, and he left it all on the table, and he probably left with a smile," Senjem said. "And he left a legacy."