Flush This Plush: ‘Imaginary’ Proves That Teddy Bears Just Can’t Be Scary

There are roughly 47,000—oh, wait, a new Netflix Original just dropped; make that 47,001—TV shows and movies coming out each week. At Obsessed, we consider it our social duty to help you see the best and skip the rest.

We’ve already got a variety of in-depth, exclusive coverage on all of your streaming favorites and new releases, but sometimes what you’re looking for is a simple Do or Don’t. That’s why we created See/Skip, to tell you exactly what our writers think you should See and what you can Skip from the past week’s crowded entertainment landscape.

Skip: Imaginary

Imaginary is a hacky and hackneyed cornucopia of the most ridiculous horror tropes, but what else can be expected from a movie about a killer teddy bear? Swimming pools, dolls, and now plush toys, it’s time for filmmakers to give up the gimmicks for real scares.

Here’s Nick Schager’s take:

“Onto the trash pile of middling killer-children’s-toy horror shows one must now toss Imaginary, a lifeless hodgepodge of the hoariest cliches the genre has to offer. Lifting liberally from countless scary movies (with Henry Selick’s Coraline near the top of that list), this throwaway features creepy basements, harrowing nightmares, unsettling old ladies, fuzzy memories, bratty teens, helpful therapists, mentally unstable adults who can sense the supernatural, eerily bouncing balls, spooky shadow lanterns that play unnerving lullabies, foreboding kids’ drawings, uncanny family photographs, witchy magic rituals, secret doorways, inhuman specters, alternate universes, giant monsters, and M.C. Escher dreamscapes. Creakiest of all its hackneyed devices, though, is its villain: a teddy bear whose malevolent designs are about as routine as its appearance is mundane.

‘Imaginary’: Shouldn’t a Murderous Teddy Bear Be Much Scarier?

Directed by Jeff Wadlow (Truth or Dare), who co-wrote its script with Greg Erb and Jason Oremland, Imaginary, which hit theaters Mar. 8, revolves around Jessica (DeWanda Wise), an author of a series of children’s novels about a cheery millipede and her evil arachnid nemesis. Jessica is married to musician Max (Tom Payne) and is stepmother to his daughters Taylor (Taegen Burns) and Alice (Pyper Braun), the former a petulant 15-year-old who can’t stand Jessica and the latter a young girl reeling from the figurative loss of her mother, who suffers from some undefined psychological problems and is the apparent cause of arm burns that have left Alice fearful of fire. At the story’s outset, all of them move into the home where Jessica lived until she was five with her mom (who died of cancer) and dad (who’s now blind and in a nursing home). Still, she admits she can barely remember her time in the abode, for reasons that are quite obviously related to the forthcoming mayhem.”

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See: Kung Fu Panda 4

Kung Fu Panda 4 is, remarkably, the long-running franchise’s best film! This installment revamps the formula for a new adventure, with an all-star cast of voice actors—most notably a fantastic Viola Davis—on board to elevate these martial arts-loving mammals to new heights.

Here’s Barry Levitt’s take:

“Did we really need another Kung Fu Panda? The third film in the DreamWorks Animation franchise, featuring Jack Black as the unlikeliest of martial artists, wrapped things up in a wholly satisfying way a full eight years ago. But necessary or not, the brand new Kung Fu Panda 4 is outstanding: a gorgeous, funny romp with set pieces that set a new bar for action in Western animation.

Against All Odds, ‘Kung Fu Panda 4’ Is the Best Movie of the Franchise

There’s a new name in the director’s chair this time around, with Mike Mitchell taking over for Jennifer Yuh Nelson (who also directed Kung Fu Panda 2) and Alessandro Carloni. While that may sound like cause for concern, Mitchell is a veteran behind some of DreamWork’s most successful movies, including the first Trolls and the underrated Shrek Forever After. He proves to be a more than capable replacement, delivering a hugely satisfying follow-up.’”

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See: Animal Control Season 2

Animal Control Season 2 offers even more hilarious workplace gags, as the intrepid team of animal control officers try to find a stable work-life balance among all of the possums and raccoons. It’s so good, it could easily be the next big network hit.

Here’s Vikram Murthi’s take:

“Animal Control, the Fox comedy whose second season premieres Mar. 6, emphasizes the familiar over the novel. Set in Seattle (though filmed in Vancouver), the single-camera sitcom follows a group of animal control officers who juggle their personal and professional woes. Frank Shaw (Joel McHale)—a snarky, emotionally distant former cop—leads the show’s ensemble alongside his partner, Shred (Michael Rowland), a guileless former pro snowboarder relatively new to the squad who’s eager for Frank’s mentorship and approval. Shred’s ceaseless optimism constantly gets on Frank’s nerves, but— surprise, surprise—the gruff older partner shares a reluctant bond with his younger companion.

Fox Sitcom ‘Animal Control’ Should Be the Next ‘Brooklyn 99’ or ‘Community’

The squad’s other two officers have a more supportive opposites-attract relationship. Victoria (Grace Palmer), a New Zealand free spirit with a sharp tongue, is paired up with Patel (Ravi V. Patel), an overtaxed father of three who craves time (and good food, and good travel) outside the family home. Meanwhile, the kindhearted Emily (Vella Lovell) fills out the cast as precinct director; though her team frequently takes advantage of her bottomless generosity, they eventually come to respect and befriend her.”

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Skip: Family Guy Season 22

Family Guy Season 22—cue a long, exhausted sigh and panting breaths—finds the show running out of steam. And how could it not, after more than 20 years of edgy comedy? Eventually, even the sharpest series have to dull. When you can’t offend, it’s time to upend.

Here’s Charles Bramesco’s take:

“Second only to his freakishly comprehensive knowledge of forgotten pop culture ephemera, tenacity has always been Peter Griffin’s strongest suit.

After 22 Seasons, ‘Family Guy’ Is Losing Its Friggin’ Edge

Family Guy’s broadcast schedule practically qualifies as myth, the show’s legacy inextricably tied to its arc from cancellation at Fox, un-cancellation, re-cancellation, cult embrace in reruns on Adult Swim, and reinstatement on Fox to smashing popularity. The dedicated viewership that compelled the suits to reconsider has now carried the series into its 22nd season, a longevity that suggests the permanent-fixture enshrinement enjoyed by The Simpsons. (And not even Homer and company could nab the holy grail of an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Comedy Series, an honor held only by Fred Flintstone and the Griffin clan in the two-dimensional realm.)”

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