Open online tournaments are a mess. With no rules and no sponsors to tell them their ideas are bad, amateur teams will take full advantage and name themselves something incredibly stupid.
That’s exactly what happened with the Overwatch Contenders tournament. Among the teams like Cloud9, Counter Logic Gaming, and Misfits doing their best to take Blizzard’s developmental league seriously, there are dozens of squads just being goofballs. While I don’t expect many of these teams will make it very far, I do very much hope that some of them see their names in lights as the Contenders season wears on.
Here are our picks for the best (worst?) team names who signed up for Overwatch Contenders.
Hailing from Europe, Team eSporters Cyberathletes gets a few things right about branding, and one very big thing wrong. The team name is succinct, gets their message across, and is just plain stupid. It’s memorable. It’s evocative. And the picture associated definitely drives the point home.
But, people. It’s “Esports.” Even the AP Style Guide says so.
On the other hand, TF2 < Paladins is kind of missing the point. Y’all are playing Overwatch, and you’re going to name drop the two biggest competitors to the class-based shooter throne? And two that Overwatch has handily defeated in the battle of player counts? That just seems rude.
To be fair, though: At least people will remember which shooter these folks prefer.
Fun fact: Genji mains can’t spell.
It’s true! Just consult any Overwatch team chat anywhere, and you’ll find yourself wondering exactly how many different ways they can spell out their demands for constant health injections from the support that’s dutifully trying to push the point while Genji zips around the map, putting themselves directly in front of the nearest Roadhog hook.
No, I’m not salty.
Hearthstone’s Ben Brode may have been the first Blizzard game lead to jump into the world of hip hop, but European squad Yung Jeff have created their own headcanon that gives Overwatch lead Jeff Kaplan the exact name he needs to break into the scene. They could have chosen a slightly better picture to go along with the name, though.
YIKES! indeed. Brevity, wit, etc.
From the shortest name of the bunch to the longest. It may not rank super highly among the terrible scenes in the Star Wars prequels, but the monologue from Chancellor Palpatine to Anakin Skywalker is still pretty darn stupid. At least this team paid the scene its proper respects by getting the opening line completely wrong.
Apparently potatoes are pretty popular in Europe, because three separate teams named themselves after the root vegetable. While the delightfully misspelled Potatoe Masters and the alliterative Potato Patrol imply the positive nature of everyone’s favorite (and only) french fry ingredient, Potato Aim Gaming takes the negative approach. That lack of confidence in your skills isn’t going to get you anywhere, folks.
This one pretty accurately sums up my Overwatch experience. That’s probably why I’m still Silver.
I’m going to be honest: I choked my coffee when I read these bold players’ team name.
This is the pinnacle of esports comedy. Not only did they straight up steal the name one of the most storied and venerable esports organizations in the world, they just added “Team” to the front of it and called it a day. They didn’t even bother to upload an image. This sort of slacker jokery is everything that is good about esports, all compiled into a mere ten letters. I have always been a fan of Fnatic, but now I am now also a fan of Team Fnatic. May the Overwatch gods smile upon this team, for I demand to see two dueling teams named Fnatic at the top of the competitive scene.
Follow Taylor Cocke on Twitter @taylorcocke.