Family asks for community support for 5 children orphaned after St. Paul murder-suicide

Kristi Belcamino, Pioneer Press
·4 min read
22

After asking his five children to go down to the basement to play, it is believed that Yia Xiong, 33, shot his wife, Ka Lor, 30, and then himself, family members said Thursday.

Chee Nou Xiong, 36, the older brother of Yia, gave the following details about Tuesday’s murder-suicide in a press conference at the Hmong 18 Council office in St. Paul.

After they were told to go the basement, the oldest child, a 9-year-old boy, heard three shots. When he ran upstairs, he saw his parents’ bodies.

Xiong said his nephew then acted like a “hero little guy” because he called 911 and then herded his four younger sisters out of the house so they wouldn’t see the bodies.

A neighbor took care of the kids, who range in age from 2 to 9, until the authorities arrived, Xiong said. A police officer brought McDonald’s to the children to try to help soothe them.

The children are now staying with their grandmother, Xiong’s mother, who has cared for them often since they were born, he said.

‘IS MY MOMMY STILL SLEEPING?’

Officers responding to the boy’s 911 call at 9:15 p.m. Tuesday went to the family’s home in the 2000 block of California Avenue in the Northern Hayden Heights neighborhood of the Greater East Side. Paramedics pronounced Lor and Xiong dead at the scene.

The two oldest children understand what happened to their parents, but the three youngest do not, Chee Nou Xiong said.

“What breaks my heart the most is the littlest one keeps asking, ‘Is my mommy still sleeping?,'” he said.

The three youngest think that their parents might still be sleeping or at work. The children were accustomed to their parents working until the sun went down. Lor was a medical assistant and Xiong was a technician at a vehicle reconditioning facility.

Chee Nou Xiong spoke to his brother Monday night after he got off work.

His brother’s family had spent the weekend camping in Duluth, something everyone in the family loved to do and did annually each summer before school started, he said.

They spoke about their plans for this weekend, he said.

FAMILY SAYS THEY DIDN’T SEE SIGNS OF PROBLEMS

Both Chee Nou Xiong and Joua True Xiong, Yia’s great grandfather, said they saw no signs that anything like this would happen and that the pair seemed like a great couple who were happy and financially stable.

When Chee Nou Xiong’s mother called him at 11:15 p.m. Tuesday and told him to go to his brother’s house because she had received a “really bad phone call,” he said, “It hurt my heart so bad I couldn’t get out of my bed.”

When he did manage to drive over, he was met by police at a road block who told him he couldn’t go to the home and it was “a bad scene.” When he identified himself, they let him go collect the children and the dog, he said.

Xiong’s two family members said Thursday they wanted to speak out and ask the community for assistance. The family needs help paying for funeral expenses, and future expenses for the five children who are now orphans, Xiong said. A GoFundMe can be found at gofundme.com/f/in-memory-of-yia-xiong-and-ka-lor.

“We just need help,” Chee Nou Xiong said. “Especially with the five kids who all have bright futures.”

He said he wishes his brother would have called him and said he could’ve gone to his house and taken him away for a few hours.

ENCOURAGING MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT

Paul Xiong, president of the Hmong 18 Council, said this new tragedy comes while the Hmong community is still reeling from the July murder-suicide of another Hmong family. In that instance, Molly Cheng, 23, killed herself and her three children in Vadnais Heights. Her husband, Yee Lee, 27, had died by suicide in Maplewood earlier that day.

“We have a lot of work to do in the Hmong community,” he said. He said he is calling on local, county and state officials to help with more programs addressing domestic violence in the Hmong community.

Dr. Brian Xiong, program director for the council, said that while there is no Hmong word for mental health and that speaking about your own mental health has been considered taboo, it’s important for people to seek support if they are having mental health issues.

They can call the Hmong Council 18, who will put them in touch with numerous resources that can help them, he said.

Another organization, Transforming Generations — which works with Hmong victims and survivors of domestic and sexual violence — can be reached at 651-703-4169. The Hmong Helpline for domestic violence can be reached 24/7 by calling or texting 877-740-4292.

Funeral services for Lor are scheduled for Sept. 4 at the St. Paul Funeral Home, 199 Plato Blvd. in St. Paul. Services for Xiong are planned for Sept. 15 at the same location.

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