The Fabulously Absurd Life of the Smith Family, by Way of 'After Earth' Promotion

Esther Zuckerman

From the moment we first heard Will and Jaden Smith's bizarre accents in the trailers for their father-son summer "blockbuster" After Earth, we knew we were in for something special this May. Okay, not something good, but something special. And, boy, do we have that something now. The talented Mrs. Smith are in full swing on their press tour for this weekend's release with a fantastic (and totally bonkers) cover story in New York magazine featuring an interview by Claire Hoffman. Combine that with some of Will and Jaden's other recent appearances and comments, and we're learning a little more about what it's like to be a part of the Smith family. 

RELATED: Steven Tyler Flies the Coop

You Have Theories About... Things

Some selections from the New York interview: 

RELATED: Justin & Jessica's $300,000 Wedding Pics

  • "I'm a student of patterns. At heart, I'm a physicist. I look at everything in my life as trying to find the single equation, the theory of everything." — Will
  • "The sun coming up, but even a little more. Like for Best Actor Oscars. Almost 90 percent of the time, it’s mental illness and historical figures, right? So, you can be pretty certain of that if you want to win—as a man; it’s very different for women. The patterns are all over the place, but for whatever reason, it’s really difficult to find the patterns in Best Actress." — Will
  • "I think that there is that special equation for everything, but I don't think our mathematics have evolved enough for us to even—I think there's, like, a whole new mathematics that we’d have to learn to get that equation." — Jaden

Your Dad Teases You About... How Famous He Is


RELATED: Vivienne Jolie-Pitt's Big Payday

(Photo by Eric Charbonneau/Invision for Columbia Pictures/AP Images)

RELATED: Kris Jenner Is Coming for You

Ryan Pearson's Associated Press dispatch from Truth or Consequences, New Mexico (seriously) at an After Earth promotional event reveals that Will likes to tease Jaden about not being enough of a movie star yet. 

RELATED: Charting M. Night Shyamalan's Downfall

  • "You're kidding, right? You're kidding. That's the most unprofessional thing I've seen you do." — Will, when Jaden drops a water bottle during a TV interview. 
  • "...And you're living in his shadow. And you've got to do interviews in his shadow." — Will, talking in the third person as he shields Jaden from camera lights. 

Your Dad Also Lets You Shoot a Movie With Fer-De-Lances Around

From the New York interview: 

  • "Yeah, if Mommy was there, that wouldn't have gone down. As an actor, I felt like it was an authentic experience of actually being in Costa Rica." — Will

Your Creativity is Regimened 


Once again, from New York

  • "I think the only thing in our house that people would be surprised by is the efficiency... just how serious we are about how the microphone at the piano has to be on and the recorder has to be ready to go for when somebody gets an idea. The paint supplies have got to be kept up—you know, you cannot go to paint something and a color’s empty." — Will

You Go Through Cartier Phases 

Will explained to New York's Hoffman that his other children, Willow and Trey, don't really buy fancy things. Jaden on the other hand has gone through some phases. 

  • "There was a time in my life when I'd go to Cartier, like, every weekend for like a month. But, now I'm …" — Jaden

You Have to Practice Choreographed Dances with Your Dad's Old Friends

Hey, that's DJ Jazzy Jeff! And Carlton Banks!

Most People Just Don't Get You 

From Hoffman

  • "...the things about our family that are mysteries or seem strange, when they’re explained, it’ll be obvious. You know, the forum of media that we’re in can’t really handle the complexity of things that we say all the time." — Will