Everybody is calling bullsh*t on Ivanka Trump's 'punk phase'
Nestled amongst the many useful parenting tips in Ivana Trump's new memoir, Raising Trump, is the revelation that Trump's eldest daughter Ivanka reportedly had a "punk phase" — during which she loved Nirvana and dyed her hair blue (for about five seconds), she writes in her mom's book.
One problem, Ivanka dear: Nirvana is grunge, not punk. As in angst and flannel and the Pacific Northwest, not studs and anarchy and decaying, mid-size industrial cities in the U.K.
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In the passage, first spotted by New York Magazine, Ivanka details how her rebellious hair dying episode is actually responsible for her current signature platinum lewk.
Trump also reportedly cried for a full day after Kurt Cobain died. We guess the moral of these stories are that mom knows best? How ... punk rock?
Listen, conflating grunge and punk is certainly a musical sin. Everyone knows that grunge was the dispirited '90s comedown from the consuming counterculture rage of the '70s and '80s, duh!
But Ivanka was pretty much being a normal teen by loving Kurt Cobain in 1994. And by not getting the ~nuances~ of punk v. grunge, she was probably in the same boat as most oblivious American kids reeking of teen spirit during the downtrodden years of the early '90s recession.
Oh, what's that? The Trumps actually financially benefited from the '90s recession, and Ivanka's punk sensibilities did not hold her back from wearing this knotted cardigan ensemble just a few years later?
Ivanka Trump, punk as fuck in Aspen in 1998 pic.twitter.com/dWFg5zLOXD
— Christian Nightmares (@ChristnNitemare) October 17, 2017
We guess she was out of her "punk phase" by then.
The internet was quick to point out the discrepancy and has already gone a lil' wild with Punk Ivanka memes, puns on lyrics, and a hearty dose of skepticism.
Ivanka Trump said she had a "punk phase" so here's proof pic.twitter.com/edkDhgtKbn
— Alexis Benveniste (@apbenven) October 17, 2017
Ivanka Be Sedated https://t.co/GIT01clPl8
— bassSLAYSGRAVE (@bassplaysdave) October 17, 2017
Ivanka Trump's "punk phase" probably consisted of keying the other kids' limos.
— James Crampton (@JimCramptonWPG) October 17, 2017
Don't worry. The phase ends with her dying her hair a lighter shade of blonde. (No, really, that's in this piece.) https://t.co/uLoa8QXykV
— Emily Tamkin (@emilyctamkin) October 17, 2017
White Manolos in Hammersmith Palais #IvankaPunk
— LondonLee (@LondonLee62) October 17, 2017
Ivanka is a punk rocker noooooow!
— Hmmm...Yes...Hmmm (@shawnbristow) October 17, 2017
The only thing about the “Ivanka was punk lol” story that truly irritates me is that Ivanka's mom let her dye her hair blue AND MINE DIDN'T
— Kim Kelly (@GrimKim) October 17, 2017
Now I Wanna Sniff Some Gucci #IvankaPunk
— LondonLee (@LondonLee62) October 17, 2017
No word yet on whether The Clash's "I Fought the Law" was an important factor in Ivanka's decision to evade criminal real estate fraud charges at all costs.
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