Eurovision 2024 review: Nemo brought the woh-ho-ho, everyone else the ho-hum

In the end, it was just another Eurovision Song Contest. Overshadowed through the week by controversy over Israel’s participation and rattled by the expulsion of Netherlands representative Joost Klein hours before the grand final, it seemed the world’s most outrageous musical party might be about to crash in dramatic fashion.

But the Malmö 2024 edition of Eurovision simply grabbed its glittery face paint, knee-high boots and semi-clad male dancers and steam-rolled on regardless across an evening that was enjoyable, though never quite spectacular.

It was a so-so Eurovision, with a few silly moments and some banging tunes – but not enough of either to truly stand out. Even Graham Norton, commenting on BBC One, sounded stonkingly underwhelmed.

Switzerland’s Nemo won with Freddie Mercury-ish power ballad The Code, while the UK’s Olly Alexander had an awkward moment when receiving a thunking null points from the public vote.

There was a big fat zero, too, to whoever was in charge of talking Abba into reforming for the contest on the 50th anniversary of Waterloo winning Eurovision. Rumours that Benny, Björn, Agnetha and Anni-Frid would don silver jumpsuits again and grace the Malmö Arena proved wide of the mark.

Instead, viewers were treated to a creepy cameo from their London-based digital Abbatars. It was by far the scariest moment of the four-hour broadcast. Which is saying something considering Ireland’s Bambie Thug was essentially doing Enya: The Satan Years.

Having hosted six previous Eurovisions Sweden could probably stage the event in its sleep. Which was just as well as presenters Petra Mede and Malin Åkerman lacked the performative outrageousness essential to Eurovision and which Hannah Waddingham had brought in spades in Liverpool last year.

Fears Israel’s participation would become a flashpoint were largely unfounded. Boos mingled with cheers during the performance by Eden Golan of her songs Hurricane.

But most of the ire was reserved for Eurovision organisers, the European Broadcasting Union, as represented by its executive supervisor Martin Österdahl (The EBU had caught additional flak for disqualifying Dutch singer Klein over a backstage incident involving a female camera operator).

Considering the lacklustre quality of his song Dizzy, Olly Alexander did well – and Graham Norton tried hard to put a positive spin on the UK’s 18th place finish. Still, there was no getting around the fact that Alexander’s staging was strange. For reasons best known to himself, the Years and Years frontman had decided to perform from inside an upside-down space gym, which added little to a threadbare ditty. Still, he was full of personality and appeared in good spirits in the green room.

Several artists seemed to make veiled references to Israel and Gaza. Bambie Thug finished their turn by saying, “Love will always triumph over hate”. Later, the leader of the Austrian jury wore a T-shirt reading” Equality”. It was, he said, “difficult to find only positive words” about Eurovision.

Israel nonetheless received a huge public vote and finished fifth. First place was meanwhile a battle between Croatia’s Baby Lasagna, with head-banging novelty song Rim Tim Tagi Dim, and Nemo’s more traditional The Code. In the end, it was The Code that cracked it, and after all the hype and controversy, a potentially contentious Eurovision vanished into the sunset hitch-free. Worries that the contest would meet its Waterloo had proved wide of the mark but, my, my, it could have been a lot better.