John Schneider is sharing the heartbreaking details about his last moments with his late wife, Alicia Allain Schneider.
The former "Dukes of Hazzard" star, 63, told People that he decided to comfort his wife with a "lie" while she was in her final days of hospice care at home.
“I of course told her it was OK,” said Schneider. “‘If you’re tired, if you want to go see your grandma, you want to go see your grandpa, if you want to go, then it’s OK. You go.’ And that was all the truth.”
“But then I lied, because I said, ‘Don’t worry about me; I’ll be OK,’” the actor tearfully continued. “That was a lie I had to tell, but she knew it. OK is a long way away.”
Schneider's very last words to Allain Schneider, who died in February of breast cancer at age 53, were straight from the heart.
“The last thing I said to her was, ‘I love you desperately, and I’ve got multiple sets of very long-term plans for you.’ And that’s true, because eternity’s a very long time, and I believe it. I’m counting on it," he said.
Schneider announced his wife's death in an emotional Facebook post on Feb. 22.
"My beautiful Smile is pain free, living in her new body alongside Jesus," he wrote, using his affectionate nickname for her.
The actor asked fans to share "any pictures of us and our obvious love and adoration for each other" in the comments of his post.
"Lastly… hug those you love tight and let them know how you feel. We always did," he added.
The following day, Schneider wrote again about his wife's death, which he called "a time of unimaginable sorrow," on Facebook.
"Alicia was the fuel that ran my biggest dreams. The inspiration behind every creative thought. The very fabric of my soul. The glue that held me together," he continued.
“I miss her more than any words could possibly describe,” he added. “Pain is too small a word. Grief is too small a word. Love itself is too small a word.”
According to People, Allain Schneider was first diagnosed with breast cancer in May 2019 after discovering a lesion during a routine dermatologist appointment.
The following year, she went into remission. But after Allain Schneider broke her back in a car accident in 2021, scans showed the cancer had returned and metastasized to the bone.
After treatments didn't work, Schneider honored Allain Schneider's wishes last February and brought her home from the hospital for hospice care.
While Schneider stayed devotedly by his wife's side at their home, he wasn't present when she passed away.
“The thing that helped me most in the grieving process was I’m quite sure that she waited for me not to be there, because I think she knew I couldn’t handle it,” he told People.
The actor, who continues to post daily messages about his late wife on Facebook, added that he still can't believe she is gone.
“I still wake up in the morning, and I reach for her in groggy sleep. I keep my eyes closed, and I reach over, hoping maybe this was a dream," he said.
As painful as his grief is now, Schneider is grateful for the love he shared with Allain Schneider, calling the two of them "kindred spirits."
“As bad as I hurt, I wouldn’t trade a minute of it,” he said. “Heaven is real, and I’ll get there one day and she’ll greet me. At that point, this will seem like nothing. like no time has gone by.
"Until then, I will endure. That’s what she’d want, and I’m going to live the rest of my life doing only that which would make her smile."
This article was originally published on TODAY.com