They don't forget - families who are victims of violence 'simply try to find a new normal'

Nicole M. Workman
·5 min read

How do families heal and move on after a loved one is murdered? The answer is − they don't. But they can find a place to gather and realize their story is not the only one. Friends of Victim Assistance is working to create this type of place for the families they support.

The Clements family knows all too well the feeling of loss, isolation and pain that circles their lives because of the murder of their son and brother, Jeremy Clements.

Jeremy was murdered in 2019, and the family has been picking up the pieces ever since.

"You never move on, you never forget, and you never heal," Jessica Chapman, Jeremy's sister, said of the tragedy. "All you can do is simply try to find a new normal and honor his life by living your own to the fullest."

Jeremy's only flaw is he was too trusting and desperate for friends. He had a mild intellectual disability that made him vulnerable. He took in a family who was down and out; the end result was murder.

Clements family members, Jessica Chapman, his sister, and Brenda and Randy Clements, his parents, visit Jeremy’s grave where they mourn and remember their son and brother who was murdered in 2019. "You never move on, you never forget, and you never heal," Jessica says of the tragedy. "All you can do is simply try to find a new normal."
Clements family members, Jessica Chapman, his sister, and Brenda and Randy Clements, his parents, visit Jeremy’s grave where they mourn and remember their son and brother who was murdered in 2019. "You never move on, you never forget, and you never heal," Jessica says of the tragedy. "All you can do is simply try to find a new normal."

"He was just that way. He knew what it felt like not to have friends, so he always wanted to help other people," Jeremy's mother, Brenda, said. "His gift, and likely his demise, was the fact that he had a desire to belong, creating a heart of compassion and inclusivity."

The Clements family is grateful for the support they received from the Marion Victim Assistance Program (VAP). The VAP program runs under the Marion County Sheriff's Office, but is primarily funded by multiple grant sources. Their job as victim advocates is to minimize the effects of the crime on the lives of victims and their loved ones.

Services include emergency assistance, documenting losses and connections with support services and resources. VAP advocates also act as the liaison between the victim and law enforcement, prosecutors, court personnel and probation services.

A special place to heal and remember

Friends of Victim Assistance is a group of volunteers raising funds to support the Marion Victim Assistance Program, victims and their families while creating awareness in the community of the importance of loving your neighbor. Friends of VAP is running a fundraising campaign to construct a memorial garden on the grounds of the Sheriff's Office.

The concept is to create a peaceful space for families and community members to gather, remember, support each other and honor the lives lost to violence in our community. The expected date of completion for the project is September 2025. This would be the largest memorial of its kind in Ohio.

Fundraising is going on to help fund a victims memorial garden on the grounds of the Marion County Sheriff's Office. The project is expected to be completed in September 2025.
Fundraising is going on to help fund a victims memorial garden on the grounds of the Marion County Sheriff's Office. The project is expected to be completed in September 2025.

"It's important for the community to support this work and the families affected by violence. We cannot look the other way. We need to support these families in this small way," said Amanda Adkins, project lead for the Friends of Victim Assistance Committee.

"Coping with loss of any kind is extremely hard and personal. And it's different for every person," Adkins said. "The Memorial Garden is a beautiful place that will hold the names of those who have lost their lives to violent crimes. We never want them to be forgotten. The garden will serve as a place to gather, honor and remember community members lost to violence."

"It's going to be a great thing for families like ours," Randy, Jeremy's father, said of the garden.

Through tears, Jessica added there is peace in knowing her brother will not be forgotten. Having a place to visit and see the names of those who have lost their lives is an honor Jeremy and others deserve.

"Knowing Jeremy and others like him will never be forgotten and honored in this way gives families a good feeling," Jessica said.

Jeremy Clements was murdered in 2019. His mother said Jeremy was desperate for friends and always wanted to help other people - a trait that may have ultimately led to his death.
Jeremy Clements was murdered in 2019. His mother said Jeremy was desperate for friends and always wanted to help other people - a trait that may have ultimately led to his death.

She adds that being a sister to a victim of murder is a lonely walk.

"It's so lonely. People can't relate. They can't understand," Jessica said. "And even though they are loving and supportive, they have no idea what it's like. If I'm upset and having a bad day, this garden will be the place that I will go. I'm sure other families of victims will agree."

Memorial Garden fundraising details

Community support is requested through donations. The Friends of Victim Assistance has been reaching out to organizations to make this dream a reality in the community.

The Fraternal Order of Police (FOP) has led the charge in supporting the Memorial Garden. It is a sponsor and agrees it is important for the community to understand and support the work of the Marion Victim Assistance Program and the Friends of Victim Assistance Memorial Garden project.

"We work with the families who are left to grieve in the wake of these senseless acts of violence. We know and understand more than most how important this garden will be to our community and the families left behind," said April Short, FOP member and investigator for the Marion County Coroner's Office.

Short and the FOP challenge the community, businesses and organizations to get involved by supporting fundraising efforts.

Donations can be made by texting MemorialGarden to 40403 or writing a check to the United Way of North Central Ohio, 125 Executive Drive, Marion 43302, and noting Memorial Garden in the memo line.

Friends of VAP also is organizing a cornhole tournament to be held June 29 at Shovel City Drinkery. The event will end with live music provided by 50 Steps Up. To register a team, donate an auction basket or volunteer, call 740-387-4401.

Nicole M. Workman is director of communications for the Marion County Board of Developmental Disabilities.

This article originally appeared on Marion Star: Memorial Garden in Marion will be place to share loss, feel support