Donald ‘Von ShitzInPantz’ Diss Makes Hush-Money Trial Debut

Donald Trump can dish it out, but he has shown, once again, that he simply cannot take it.

As proceedings began Thursday morning in the disgraced ex-president’s criminal hush-money trial, defense attorney Todd Blanche complained to New York State Supreme Court Judge Juan Merchan that the gag order put in place to prevent Trump from intimidating witnesses, jurors, and court staff was unfair to his client.

“Everybody can say anything they want, except for President Trump,” Blanche grumbled.

The focus of Trump’s present ire, Blanche said, is Michael Cohen: specifically, a social media posting mocking the former president—who has repeatedly slammed his former personal lawyer and “fixer” as a liar—as hopelessly incontinent.

“Hey Von ShitzInPantz…your attacks of [sic] me stink of desperation,” Cohen recently posted on X, formerly Twitter. “We are all hoping that you take the stand in your defense.”

Reached by phone shortly after the tweet was formally entered into the court record, Cohen said he was in the middle of a meeting and couldn’t talk.

Trump is facing 34 counts of falsifying business records over a $130,000 payment to porn star Stormy Daniels in an effort to silence her about an alleged affair the two had, which the then-candidate feared would impact his chances of winning the 2016 election.

The twice-impeached ex-commander-in-chief has already been fined $9,000 for his repeated gag order violations. Merchan has warned Trump he could be jailed if he continues to act out in defiance of the rules. On Thursday, Blanche told Merchan that Cohen is now posting videos to TikTok “nightly” and making fun of Trump, to which Trump is not allowed to respond.

“They’re over the top about his character, about his candidacy,” Blanche said.

Merchan, for his part, appeared unmoved, coolly telling Blanche that he didn’t have the authority to impose a gag order on Cohen because he is not a defendant in the case. However, if Cohen keeps it up, Merchan has said he would consider lifting the portion of the gag order barring Trump from mentioning him.

Blanche was also exercised today that President Biden teased Trump at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner last weekend, making sly reference to the “stormy weather” his predecessor has experienced of late.

“You’re saying he can’t respond to what President Biden said?” Merchan shot back. “There’s nothing in the gag order that says he can’t.”

Blanche has previously claimed to Merchan that Cohen’s “entire financial livelihood depends on President Trump’s destruction,” and that he was “obsessed” with Trump. Cohen spent more than 13 months in prison for his role in the payoff, and has since turned against his former boss. He is expected to appear as a star witness for the prosecution.

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