Donald Trump Wants What He Can't Have

When you think of "rich guys who might buy The New York Times," how long does it take you to get to Donald Trump? 

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Daily Intel's Joe Hagan reports, "According to sources familiar with the situation, Trump has engaged in more than one meeting to discuss how he might buy the Grey Lady." And that's pretty much the heart of the story. Of course, no one is commenting on the rumor. Is this something we should worry about? 

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Not really. Rumors about someone buying part of The New York Times pop up every few months. Remember when it was Mayor Bloomberg? Oh, those were the days. Is the Times going through a tough financial spot right now? Sure, there are some layoffs happening. But that doesn't mean the Sulzbergers or minority owner Carlos Slim are getting ready to cash out. 

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Also, Trump isn't a paragon of journalistic integrity. He doesn't let things like "facts" get in the way of things he says. Trump was (is?!) a birther, for pete's sake. And there was that time when he called the election a "sham" and a "travesty" and called for a revolution on his Twitter account. 

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So what does it mean, then, that Trump has held more than one meeting about buying the Times? It means he has a phone and he wanted to go shopping. Like you or I would for shoes, <strike>dorks</strike> ugh, billionaires like Trump shop for newspapers: 

Or if you or I tried to actually, you know, buy The New York Times: 

Who knows, though? Stranger things have happened. Pigs have flown, they tell me. (I am gullible, though.) This seems like a lot of noise over nothing, but, just for a second, let's give him the benefit of the doubt and entertain the idea that Trump could bring something besides money to the table in this deal, like circulation: 

(Hahahaha.) That might have been the longest minute of my life. Also, for the record, at current count the Times is crushing Trump by roughly five million followers.