This Dolphin Stranded in Brooklyn Must Save Itself

David Wagner

No one really knows how it got there yet, but The New York Times' Andy Newman was among the first to notice the out-of-place cetacean this morning. Dolphin sightings aren't entirely unusual in New York City (in recent years they've have been inexplicably beaching themselves at Cape Cod, and Queens residents sometimes see them frolicking near Rockaway Beach). Still, the Gowanus is obviously an unusual place to find a dolphin. "It's the first dolphin I've seen in the Gowanus Canal, and it's probably sick or injured," Rebecca Rogers-Hawson of the Gowanus Canal Conservancy told Park Slope Patch's Will Yakowicz. She speculates that the dolphin swam in during hide tide.

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The Gowanus Canal isn't just an unusual place to find a dolphin—it's also a highly unsanitary place to find a dolphin. Seriously, this Superfund site has tested positive for gonorrhea and questions of toxicity linger in neighborhoods affected by Gowanus overflow during Hurricane Sandy. It's no Sea World, basically. You might be wondering how anyone could laugh at this poor creature's plight at a time like this. But for Twitter-enabled Brooklynites, it's never too soon: 

If anyone needs me, I'll be riding that dolphin out of the Gowanus. Bro's name is Octavio, & he's just picking me up. We're going to Miami.

— Alexis C. Madrigal (@alexismadrigal) January 25, 2013

"I got stuck in the Gowanus before it was cool" - brooklyn dolphin to his buddies

— Jessica Misener (@jessmisener) January 25, 2013

The Gowanus Canal dolphin is only ironically stranded, you guys.

— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) January 25, 2013

the dolphin got lost on the way to the seapunk party :( bit.ly/10TmvJ7

— maura johnston (@maura) January 25, 2013

haha yeah right "dolphin in the Gowanus" sure guys sounds VERY likely

— Alex Pareene (@pareene) January 25, 2013

"Damn hipsters" - Mutant Crayfish RT @andylocal: Whoa! Dolphin swimming around in Gowanus Canal near Union St bridge.

— colson whitehead (@colsonwhitehead) January 25, 2013

Of course there's already a parody Twitter account, and of course there's a dedicated circle of hell waiting for the person who created it. Around a dozen police and three NYPD emergency trucks are on the scene near Fourth Ave. and Sackett St. They're currently trying to see if the dolphin can free itself, according to CNN. Watch NBC Channel 4 New York's helicopter live-stream of the rescue efforts here:

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Inset image: Tim Fleischer WABC-TV