‘Devastated’ families make exit plans as MS lawmakers target trans kids. ‘How long do we stay?’

Lucas McDonald doesn’t want to leave home.

Mississippi is the only place he’s ever lived, the only state he’s ever known.

His friends at Petal High School tell him not to worry. That everything is going to be OK. That lawmakers will come to their senses. That the governor won’t sign it.

And while they were trying to stay positive in their support, Lucas’s friends were wrong.

Gov. Tate Reeves has promised to sign HB 1125 into law after it passed the House and Senate. It will establish the REAP Act in Mississippi, outlawing most gender affirming health care for trans children in the state.

Now, the 15-year-old is faced with an impossible decision: Stay in Mississippi – where it will soon become impossible for him to access the medicine he needs to live a healthy life – or leave his family behind and move hours away with his grandmother.

“It’s been really difficult, because I know it would be better for me to move,” Lucas told the Sun Herald. “At the same time, I don’t want to leave my family and friends and have to start all over.”

Katelyn McDonald is also torn – she wants her son to have his friends and support system and also grow up with his brother and sisters. But she wants him to be able to start testosterone treatments and receive the health care he needs in order to be his truest self.

“We haven’t quite decided what we’re going to do yet,” Katelyn said. “Why does it matter what someone else does with their own body? Why do (lawmakers) need control of that?”

The McDonald family isn’t alone in the Pine Belt. Across the state, dozens of families are having to grapple with the consequences of HB 1125 and make what many call a “devastating” decision: Do they leave, or do they stay and fight?

Bill targeting trans children is ‘a terrible mess,’ HRC says

The Human Rights Campaign and other LGBTQ+ groups in Mississippi have been fielding calls from families terrified about the repercussions of HB 1125.

“It’s a terrible mess,” said Rob Hill, director for HRC in Mississippi. “Parents of trans children are doing everything they can to provide their children with medically approved gender affirming care that’s important for their well being … but also life saving.”

When the bill goes into law, anyone under 18 who takes puberty blockers, testosterone or medical treatment for gender dysphoria will no longer be able to be prescribed treatments by doctors in the state. It’s unclear if pharmacies here will even be able to fill them.

Hill said the lawmakers’ decision to pass this bill could ultimately lead to the death of LGBTQ+ children in the state. According to data from The Trevor Project, LGBTQ+ children are four times more likely to attempt suicide in relation to non-LGBT+ children. That number increases for trans kids.

“The impact of this legislation, when it’s signed and goes into effect, is going to be terrible,” Hill said. “These politicians should be ashamed for what they’ve done to families in Mississippi.”

Mickie Stratos, director of the Spectrum Center in Hattiesburg, said they’re worried for teenagers who will have to abruptly stop hormone treatments when HB 1125 passes. In Mississippi, clinics can prescribe gender-affirming health medications like testosterone or hormone blockers at age 16.

“It’s really a life changing experience to be able to access this when you’re in your teens,” Stratos told the Sun Herald. “It’s heartbreaking for these kids. They didn’t ask to be a battleground issue in our state, and unfortunately they are.”

MS, AL, FL, TN target trans health care

HB 1125 is a part of a broader push in Republican-controlled states that is targeting the LGBTQ+ community. Other states are also looking at restrictions on gender affirming care, while others are targeting trans athletes and drag shows.

Lawmakers who support the REAP Act include the Mississippi governor, who signed a law in 2021 that bans transgender athletes from competing in girls’ or women’s sports.

Gender affirming health care for trans children and public drag shows have now been outlawed in Tennessee. Restrictions are also in place or coming in Florida, Alabama and Arkansas.

The HRC for the last three years has successfully advocated against similar bills that targeted LGBTQ+ children in the state. They all died in committee.

Hill believes HB 1125 is different because it’s an election year.

“Lawmakers are the people we elect to care for all of the population, yet they’re the very ones who are introducing legislation that leads to monsterization and bullying … and has children questioning self worth. When these kids and families hear that, they (feel) they’re less than and not as valuable as anybody else.”

The Spectrum Center, the only brick and mortar LGBTQ+ resource center in Mississippi, has been reeling since HB 1125 passed in the House.

“Most of the kids we’ve talked to were born and raised here,” Stratos said. “So many of them are active contributors to their communities, schools and churches, and suddenly the state is essentially telling them we don’t care about them. That’s a really, really hard reality to face.”

Families with trans children create exit plans in MS

Stratos and Hill are both working on gathering resources for families who are making plans to move out of Mississippi if and when HB 1125 becomes law.

Both said they’ve heard from people who are trying to figure out next steps to starting over in a new state that’s more accepting of the LGBTQ+ community.

Before laws changed, trans children could get health care services in Jackson, Mobile and Birmingham, Stratos said. Now, the only city they know of in the Deep South that will offer gender affirming care is New Orleans.

It may only be an hour’s drive from the Mississippi Coast, but NOLA is an impossible option for many of the families in the state who will be affected by HB 1125.

Stratos said that parents have to take off work, get their kids out of school and many will have to find childcare for their other children.

“Anything more than 30 minutes away is inaccessible,” Stratos said. “That’s why you see so many families making exit plans. It’s easier to pick up and move than having to travel three-to-four hours every month.”

MS Coast family grapples with HB 1125: ‘How long do we stay?’

Overcoming adversity is something this Harrison County family has been doing for a decade. The family asked not to be identified for this story for their safety.

The mother and father knew their child was different at age 2 when the toddler would play with napkins and call them Barbie dolls and mermaids and gravitated toward girls’ clothes and loved all things pink and sparkly.

From then on, they vowed to always be their daughter’s advocate and found a local pediatrician who, over the course of several years, helped them find the medical care they needed in Mobile, then in New Orleans.

On Fat Tuesday, the family had a great day celebrating Mardi Gras. When the mother heard the news that HB 1125 had passed the House and Senate, she said she was “devastated” and had an emotional breakdown.

“I knew it was happening,” she said, “but we really thought, maybe somebody’s going to stand up to this. I’m really upset that I let myself have hope.”

The mother said her family is lucky to already be receiving health care for their daughter in New Orleans.

However, insurance doesn’t cover any of her medical bills and they’re paying for everything out of pocket. She’s set to start puberty blockers soon, and the out of pocket cost for six months is $50,000.

She’s also not sure, even if they can figure out a way to pay that amount, if she’ll be able to get the prescriptions in Mississippi.

“It’s a privilege for us that we can put a tank of gas in the car and drive to New Orleans to get medical care,” she said. “What about other families in the state? It’s going to be so much harder for them.”

As the bills stack up for the Coast family, the mother said they’re exploring treatment in other states and Mexico where gender affirming care is more accessible and affordable.

They don’t want to leave Mississippi, the mother said, but they’re at a point where they may have to travel outside of the country to get proper health care for their child.

“How long do we stay?” she said. “They (lawmakers) just … don’t care if my child dies. It makes me not want to be here.”

What’s next for Mississippi families

While the McDonald family waits for Reeves to sign HB 1125, Lucas and Katelyn will ponder if the teen should move with Katelyn’s mother to Louisiana, where he’ll be able to access testosterone and hormone blockers.

For the Harrison County family, the parents will try to shield what’s happening in Mississippi from their daughter as long as possible.

“I can’t imagine having to justify your existence everyday,” the mother said, adding that thoughts and prayers from acquaintances aren’t enough anymore.

“If you’re going to keep voting for people who are going to watch these kids die, how do you reconcile that?”