DEL player nearly gets mauled by rogue zamboni during interview

The sport of hockey poses many physical threats — the potential of suffering brain trauma via concussion, spinal cord injury, and the ever-present possibility of being lacerated by a skate blade — for those who choose to participate.

The idea of getting demolished by an out-of-control zamboni wouldn’t even crack the top 100 of most players’ things to be scared of during a game lists, but this interviewee almost lost his life at the hands of a squirrelly Eismaschine in the midst of a TV spot during the second intermission of a German league (DEL) game Tuesday.

I believe, based on nothing, that the above tweet translates to “Some rogue agent hopped into Der Eismaschine and tried to literally murder one of our players. Stefan Loibl narrowly escaped, but two others, yet to be identified, were tossed violently from the back of the zamboni and are being evaluated.”

Something like that, I’m sure.

Though one of their top players didn’t lose his life at the hands of a giant snow-cleaner, the Tigers lost the game 4-2 — So we’ll chalk this one up as a draw.