Daycare Workers Reveal the Things Parents Do That They Absolutely Hate
The bond between a working parent and their child's caregiver is a unique one - it's love, embarrassment, trust, and joy, all with a healthy dose of mommy guilt. Finding a daycare provider who is a good match for your family makes your whole life is infinitely easier. He or she becomes a partner, a trusted confidant, and another person who loves your child fiercely. But mess that relationship up and suddenly everything gets harder, which is why it's so important to treat them as the smart, valuable, amazing people they are. Want to make sure you don't mess up a good thing? Avoid any of these particular pet peeves.
1. "I had a mom ask once if I could subtract the time that her kid was asleep because I 'technically wasn't watching the child'. What? It's not like I can leave during nap time and go do my own thing. And you can bet if something had happened to her child during the nap, I'd be the one liable!"
2. "A client once told me, 'I can go work without a place to live, food to eat, and a car to drive. But if I don't have someone to watch my children I can't go to work and my whole life will fall apart.' She said that as if it excused her being more than a month behind on her bill. If the company she worked for said, 'Hey, I can't pay you this month, I'll get you next month', would they go for it? Of course not. But I'm supposed to because they assume I do it out of love for their children (which I do) – but, um, I also do it for the paycheck. OK, it's primarily for the paycheck. Pay me!"
3. "Parents don't appreciate that as much as I love their children, this is a job. I've had parents think it's OK to be late - not a few minutes, everyday hassles kind of late but hours late. One Valentine's Day, a father who worked over an hour away from me informed me he'd be leaving work late - by at least two hours, meaning he wouldn't get to me until 9 p.m. Our daycare center doesn't have extended hours and I had plans that night, so what was I supposed to do? According to our official policy, if a parent is more than half an hour late, we're supposed to call the police. So I did. Happy Valentine's Day?"
4. "I'm very pro-breastfeeding. I have to say that upfront. But if you leave your nursing baby with me for more than three hours, you'd better also leave me with a way to feed your screaming hyena of a child. I had one mom who wanted to avoid 'nipple confusion' (understandable) and forbade me from giving her son a bottle, choosing instead to run back to nurse him during her lunch break. First, infants need more frequent meals than adults. Second, it made all of us miserable having to watch him suffer."
5. "Sometimes it's unavoidable, but I prefer parents to drop their children off awake as it allows them to say goodbye and transition into the daycare setting. Parents who 'sneak' their kid in while they are asleep hoping to escape the tearful goodbye drive me crazy. They always say that their kid should sleep for several more hours but they never do, and waking up somewhere other than where they fell asleep is upsetting for them. Just because it feels easier to you doesn't mean it's a good idea - and it's actually making it harder on your child.'
6. "Because we take care of small children, we're often involved in some aspects of home life, like potty training or preparing for a big event like a new sibling or a divorce. But that doesn't mean we are a part of your family! I had one mom who was having a really hard time ask us to appear at her boyfriend's court hearing to testify as to what a good parent he was. (He was not a good parent.) Later, she asked us to ask her child a series of leading questions and record his answers to get proof to use against her now ex-boyfriend. And of course when they broke up they asked us to make sure they'd never run into each other at our daycare. That's not our job - and that's also all kinds of messed up!"
7. "I love to hear what is going on in the lives of my kids' parents - to a point. Basically, I'm only interested in what is affecting your child so I can help him or her during the day. Things I do not care to hear about (but have been told anyhow) from parents: how much sex they're having, how much sex they're not having, affairs, secret bank accounts, fights with the in-laws, politics, and one guy even told me about his tax evasion scheme."
8. "Stomach flu is, by far, the worst part of working at a daycare. It immediately spreads through all the kids and staff and makes life miserable even for those who miraculously don't get it. So there's a reason most places have strict illness policies. Not only should your child stay home if they have a fever, diarrhea, vomiting, lice, or other signs of a contagious illness, but they should stay home until they're better. And don't lie about it! I recently had a little girl tell me, 'I threw up this morning but my mommy told me not to tell you.'"
9. "I recently had a parent send a newly potty training son to daycare with one spare pair of undies. That's not going to last an hour, much less eight. Plus, I have yet to see a kid who has an accident and doesn't manage to get it all over their shirt and pants, too. When it doubt, send lots of backups! Of everything! The poor kid had to spend the rest of the day in a pair of pink sweatpants two sizes too small for him that we pulled from the lost-and-found."
10. "I work at an extended-hours daycare so I'm feeding kids two, sometimes three meals a day, plus snacks. I understand that parents have strong feelings about what their kids eat, but some go overboard, restricting gluten, sugar, dairy, grains, and basically everything else children like. If it's for a true medical reason, like an allergy, I get it, but I work in a very wealthy neighborhood and often it seems like parents are just putting their kids on the next fad diet to come along. That makes my job harder and it's hard on the kids too, especially when there's a special treat like cupcakes for a birthday and their parent said they can't have gluten but forgot to bring in a gluten-free substitute. I'm going to follow the rules the parents give me but let me tell you nothing is more heartbreaking than watching a 3-year-old watch everyone else eat cake while she sits with an empty plate."
11. "Parents often forget to tell us about a new medication their kid is taking. They'll put it in the child's bag or try to hand it to us at drop-off, but we have really strict rules about how we handle medications and other medical needs, so we can't just go off what you tell us as you run out the door. My favorite was a mom who said, 'He needs his medicine three times a day. I forget the exact times but don't worry, he knows how to do it.' The kid was 2! Pretty sure that even if he could read a clock to figure out his own dosing schedule, the child-proof cap would stump him. Also, we are not trained to diagnose rashes, change bandages, or do anything beyond take a simple forehead temperature."
12. "I had a parent mad at me because I wouldn't give her an exception to one of our policies. So apparently she told her 4- and 6-year-olds all about the fight at home because the next day they came in crying and asking me why I was being so mean to their mom and why I hated their family."
13. "You spend weeks researching the best caregiver for your child and even longer on our waiting list, but once they're here, it's like you forget all about us. A simple 'thank you' at pick up and drop off is always appreciated but it's also nice when we get remembered in other ways. For instance, you tip your hairdresser or barista at the holidays, but how much more important are your kids than your hair? My favorite, though, is when your kids write me notes. I keep those forever."
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