Twitter nominates Dallas Police Chief David Brown for president

Dylan Stableford
·Senior Writer

Dallas Police Chief David Brown captured the nation’s attention Monday when he challenged lawmakers and city officials to ease the strain placed on law enforcement.

“We’re asking cops to do too much in this country,” an exhausted Brown told a press conference at Dallas police headquarters. “Every societal failure we put it off on the cops to solve. Not enough mental health funding? Let the cops handle it. Not enough drug addiction funding? Let’s give it to the cops. Here in Dallas, we’ve got a loose dog problem. Let’s have the cops chase loose dogs. Schools fail? Give it to the cops. Seventy percent of the African-American community’s being raised by single women? Let’s give it to the cops to solve that as well. That’s too much to ask. Policing was never meant to solve all those problems.”

Brown bluntly implored Black Lives Matter protesters to help the Dallas police force by joining their ranks.

“We’re hiring,” he said. “Get off of that protest line, and put your application in. We’ll put you in your neighborhood and help you solve the problems you’re protesting about.”

The 33-year veteran of the Dallas Police Force admitted he was exhausted.

“To be quite honest, I’m running on fumes,” Brown said. “Many of you have asked for interviews. I’ve tried to nicely ignore you. I hope you understand that my brain is fried.”

Brown had already received praise for his leadership in response to Thursday’s deadly attack by a lone gunman that killed five officers and left nine others and two civilians wounded.

But over the course of Brown’s sobering question-and-answer session with reporters, the hashtag #DavidBrownForPresident began trending on Twitter as viewers praised the police chief.

Brown will probably get to meet the current president on Tuesday, when Barack Obama arrives in Dallas to speak at a memorial for the slain officers and meet with the victims’ families.

During Monday’s press conference, Brown was asked what he’d like to hear from Obama while he’s in Dallas.

“I’m going to pass on that, if you don’t mind,” Brown said. “He’s the president, for God’s sake.”